Alice Walker: Loveless
by byrdiesinging
Summary: Because of her deformities, all of her suitors have turned away from her. Then one day after another brutal escape, she meets a new person. And he's not afraid of her.FEMALE ALLEN.
1. Chapter 1

Okay

Okay! Hi, its byrdie! I'm taking a break from _Leaving _so I decided to write something else.

WARNINGS: (I'm only doing this once…because I'm lazy…) If you already haven't noticed the title is ALICE walker. Alice? Don't get it? Okay fine, FEMALE! Allen. YULLEN, not yoai because Allen is a GIRL in here.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way shape or form. I also do not own Penelope, if any of you have ever seen that movie? Yah, well it's my inspiration to write this story.

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All I could hear after the frightened gasp from the man was the slamming of the heavy wooden door, the stomping of running feet, and then finally, the shattering of the large stained glass window at the end of the hall.

Mother dragged herself into the room, "Again! What is wrong with you Alice? What are you doing? That's the 18th suitor! 18th!" She sighed. "Can't you do something right for once? Don't you want to be _normal_?" She scowled at the my deformed arm. "Look at that! _Disgusting!_"

"I-I'm sorry Mother. I j-just walked in and h-he ran," I stuttered.

"No, no, say no more." She waved her hand at me. "Try harder! You just keep… oh, I don't know. Scaring them off!" She sat down on the expensive antique loveseat. "Alice, you have to get married, and to a blue-blood. It's a must!"

"Y-yes, Mother, I'll try." I climbed my spiral stairs into my room, my cat, Beau, was sitting there, waiting patiently for me to open the door. "Beau, I scared off another man. Am I really that ugly?" Beau looked at me skeptically, as if to say. "No, of course not, you're as beautiful as my name."

I guess I should start off by introducing myself to you. My name is Alice Walker. My Mother's name is Lynne and my Father's name is Mana. We live in London, England. My Father is the grandson of a great Duke, and he was an only child so all of the inheritance became his, my mother was the daughter of a Queen. Now, you might wonder what that has to do with my deformity. It has _everything _to do with it. I'll tell you the story.

When my Great Grandfather was very young, he was to marry a noblewoman, but he had fallen in love with one of his maids. When his mother found out, she was banished from the household and the connections between the Great Grandfather and she were cut. My Great Grandfather married the noblewoman, but ever day he thought of that maid. Now the maid's mother happened to be the town Witch. Soon after the Great Grandfather got married, he received word that she had died, jumped of f a cliff, it read. He was devastated, but the Witch was more. She came to him and told him this. "The next born daughter of your family will be cursed with the arm and eye of a devil!" My Great Grandfather was a religious man, he prayed and prayed that his child would be a boy, and much to his luck it was. His son, bore a son, which bore another son. Then it comes down to me. My Father's son died as soon as he was born. My Father knew this to be a bad sign, he didn't believe in curses, but he could never be too sure. When I was born, he was terror stricken. The Curse had come true.

All the tabloids and magazines wanted to know, _What did Mana Walker's daughter look like? _

I was kept inside and away from all other human life, besides my Mother, Father, and Beatrice, my Nanny, and the Butler, Borace.

I remember asking my Mother why I wasn't allowed to be with other children.

"They might get you sick. You're too fragile." She would say every single time. So in my room, just to bring a bit of the outdoors in, my Mother and Father had a small garden installed in the sun room. And just to keep me happy, they also had a small waterfall like structure put in my room.

When I was young my day consisted of me taking French lessons, English lessons, Math, Geography, and Science. Beatrice was my tutor. Science was my favorite class, because all we did was go to the sun room and look at all of the different plants that had been planted there. It seemed like a new plant was put in every week. I could name all of them in alphabetical order right now. Amaryllis, Anthurium, Bouvardia, Button pom, Calla Lilly, Casablanca Lilly, Cornflower, Daffodil, Daisy (Those were put in by me, Mother doesn't know about them yet.) Delphinium, Eremurus, Freesa, Fuji Mum, Gardenia, Genistra, Gloriosa Lilly, Heather, Ixia, Leptospernum, Lilac, and so on, but my favorite flower of all time is the Stephanotis. It looks just like a star, just like the star on my forehead, the one that everyone thinks is a curse.

I walked into the bathroom and stared at my reflection, "Am I really that ugly?" My skin was pale and I had grey blue eyes, that was considered pretty was it not? But then the scar and my white hair ruined that entire picture. It was pretty to have blond hair, not white! White was for old people! I frowned at my sad reflection.

If only I had ocean blue eyes and blond hair, if only I were a little more tan, if only my arm wasn't this, disgusting! If only I wasn't born and the son had lived, then my parents wouldn't have to go through this. I sighed sadly. I can't get anyone to love me, no matter how large my dowry. I could give them our whole estate and millions of pounds. I still wouldn't be able to get married. My sad monologue in my head was interrupted by my Mother's voice.

"Alice! Come down here! You've got another one!"

Just how much more of this could I take? No, no, I couldn't take anymore of it! I walked out of my room and looked down from the top of my stairs. Standing there was a young man. He didn't look English, Chinese maybe? No, I wasn't sure, but I was sure that as soon as he saw my face, he would slam the guest room door, run down the hall, and jump through the window. That's how it happened every time. Unless my Mother had decided to fix up the window with shatterproof glass, then they would have to try to escape through the front door…

"Alice! Come down here! Hurry up, he doesn't have all day!" My Mother called.

I snapped out of my trance. "Coming!" I wouldn't even bother to try and hide my face. I hopped down the stairs, and saw my Mother and the new suitor standing in the foyer. "Hello, nice to meet you, my name is Alice." I stuck out my deformed hand in an attempt to scare him off.

But it didn't work, he took my hand and shook it. "My name is Kanda Yu."

My Mother looked surprised. "Uhm, Would you like to come in?" She asked quickly.

Kanda looked at her funny.

And after a long silence I spoke up. "Mother, he's already in." My Mother laughed.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry, it's just. We don't get that many visitors, er, we do, we just don't have any that stay this, oh, never mind." She waved her hand in the air dramatically. "Borace, our butler, will lead you in the right direction."

He noticed that I was staring and him and when he turned to look at me I quickly looked down. "Uh, how are you?" I asked lamely.

"Fine, thank you."

I mentally slapped myself, how was I supposed to start a conversation again? This was hard! I've never had a suitor not be afraid of me. I guess I should start…

"Alice, that's your name right?" He asked me.

"Uh, yeah, I mean, yes." I quickly corrected myself.

"Oh please, don't start that formal crap with me, I'm done with that shit."

I was appalled with what he had just said. My Mother looked as if she had just had a heart attack. Borace was wide eyed. We all just stared at him. Finally my Mother chocked something up. "We're not familiar with that kind of speech in this household, sir."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just…"

"No, no need to explain! Just keep walking." My Mother cut into what he was saying, and ushered us into the guest room. We all sat down and there was a long awkward silence.

"So," I started. "Where are you originally from?"

"Japan."

"I see, is it nice there?"

"Somewhat."

"Why did you come to England?" _Defiantly not to find a wife I presume?_

"For business, I got a notice from my boss, the CEO of the Dark Order Corps, told me I would be staying a bit longer than he had planned."

"How long?" I asked.

"Probably for the rest of my life. I don't really know." He shrugged.

"So what are you in the company?" My Mother asked.

"Vice-President,"

"Very impressive, how are you finding things in England so far?"

"Different."

"I'm sure they are different. Oh, look at the time. I need to go take me French lesson now." I said in a desperate attempt to get out of there. The guy was nice, handsome, and not afraid of me. But something about him was just, unsettling.

"No, Alice, dear, I'm sure it can wait." Mother placed a hand on my arm. Kanda looked at me then at my Mother, and then turned back to me.

"Oh, that reminds me," He said slowly not taking his eyes off mine. "I needed to go to a meeting anyways, my sister doesn't like me to be late. I should be heading off as well."

_Thank you so much._ I said in my head.

"Oh, well are you thinking of coming back tomorrow?" My Mother asked hopefully.

"Yes, of course. You're daughter is good company." He complimented me, even though I had said little to nothing.

"Yes, if you come back around three tomorrow, you can join us and have tea."

"Thank you," He put his coat on then turned to me. "See you tomorrow then, Alice."

I blushed not intending to. "See you." I managed to squeak as he walked out the door. As soon as my Mother waved goodbye and closed the door, she squealed. "You're saved, Alice. Don't count on being ugly any longer! He'll save you!"

But something in the tiniest piece of my mind told me winning him over would be a lot harder than it looked.

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Ah, done. I don't think "Alice" is going to be trying to win Kanda over, more like Kanda trying to win "Alice" over. Oops! I spilled…

Anyways, what do you think?


	2. Chapter 2

Okay

Okay! Byrdie again!

I was so happy when I got all of those reviews! Thank you for liking my story so much!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own D. Gray man.

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The next day, when he came back, he looked somewhat more tense, I had no idea why. My Mother didn't seem to notice it, she thought everything was fine, but by the way he was talking. It was weird

And I didn't like it much.

"So, uh, anything worth sharing?" I asked. My Mother slapped my arm softly. "Don't say that!" She whispered.

"Well, actually, yes. Yesterday, I received news that I was being promoted." He said stiffly, for some reason, it sounded as if he was speaking from a script. A script that none of us could see, just him. My Mother beamed. "Is that so? Did you hear that, Alice? He said he was being promoted. Isn't that just wonderful?"

"Yes, Mother." I could feel his eyes staring at me and I just wanted to tell him, no, ask him why in the world he was here in the first place! He didn't feel like the other one's, well, the other's were all scared out of their minds. He acted so strong, so fearless, and it made me feel sick. I didn't know why, he was everything perfect, everything anyone would want in a person, perfect job, perfect life, perfect face, perfect everything! He was just so damn perfect! And he wasn't afraid of me. That just added to all the perfect things about him. If I were to get married to him, bless my soul, I would look like a crow standing next to him. No, worse than that!

"Alice, is there something you would like to say?" Mother asked impatiently, seeing that I looked this uncomfortable.

I chewed my lip. "No, Mother."

"Really? You don't have _anything_ you would like to say to Mister Kanda." She asked again.

"Mrs. Walker, its okay, I don't feel offended." Kanda said quickly, then he mumbled something about being a _moyashi_ being short or something I didn't quite catch.

That was it, "You know what? You obviously do not want to be here." I said out right.

He raised an eyebrow. "You read minds."

My Mother was again quite appalled by what he said. "Wh-what?! What do you mean?"

"Ah, never mind, Alice could I speak with you?" He looked at me again with those perfect dark blue eyes.

"Then talk." I said sarcastically.

"In private." He sounded almost pleading. I looked at my Mother for approval, she didn't look back, so I just assumed that meant yes.

"Okay." I said cautiously. I led him outside the room, "Yes?"

"Well, as you probably have noticed, I'm not huge on the formal shit. And well…" Kanda kept on talking but I wasn't really listening to him, I was watching his eyes dart around the hallway, trying to look at everything possible except for me. It was actually quite amusing, he was obviously nervous and every so often would quietly curse or mutter something obscene under his breath as he spoke. I didn't catch much of what he said at all.

"Oi, are you even listening to me, moyashi?" He snapped. "I said all those stupid words and you didn't even listen?"

"Er, might I ask what is this _moyashi_ thing you speak of?" I asked uneasily shifting my eyes, I just didn't like to look at him, looking at people not like me was just, I dunno, awkward. Whether it be my Mother, Father, Borace or even Beatrice. I was strange in my own ways.

He looked surprised. "Oh," He looked off for a minute as if searching for words to say. "Nickname?"

"Interesting nickname, just what does moyashi mean?" I stared at him with my silvery blue eyes. I could tell he was somewhat reluctant to tell me.

"It means bean sprout."

"Bean sprout, as in those little plants?" I asked, I had never been compared to a plant before, but even through my love for plants I felt a flare of anger. "Are you telling me I'm short?"

He snickered. "You're pretty short to me."

"That's not nice!" I pounded my fists on his chest playfully. "I'm not that short!"

"Oh ho ho! What do we have here!" My Mother laughed. "A lover's quarrel." Kanda stiffened and Mother patted my arm and turned to look at Kanda. "Well, sir, it looks like my daughter is very interested in you." I wasn't listening too much of what Mother was saying but every so often I could feel Kanda's eyes flicker to my back. My Mother let go of my arm and she and Kanda walked to the further end of the hall. She whispered something to him and he nodded. They kept on talking quietly and secretively while I watched. Then I heard. "Thank you so much!" then Kanda bowed and walked down the stairs with Borace.

Mother practically skipped towards me. I raised an eyebrow, suspecting something. "Well?"

"Well? You should thank me! Your lovely Mother has done good once again!" She hugged me, "Think of how beautiful you will be in your wedding dress! Oh! We should get it tailored for you now! Let me write Bessie! Borace, get me a sheet of paper! I need to mail Alice's measurements to Bessie!" My Mother was ecstatic.

"Wait!" I grabbed my Mother's arm before she ran off to write Bessie. "Did he say he was going to court me?"

My Mother sent me a mischievous look. "You'll have to wait and see, Alice dear." Then she walked down the stairs and started shouting orders and the cooks and maids telling them we would be having company tonight.

"Oh," I said out loud. "His family is coming." _Would they be like him? _I mused. _Wait! I can't seem too interested! Mother already suspects that I like him because I'm showing to much interest! I've got to seem cold and uncaring! _I did not want to let everyone think I was _infatuated _with this, this, Kanda person. I did not love him he's probably just like all those other men, uncaring and cold. And I'll show him! I gritted my teeth together; I could not take any more heartbreak!I pushed my door open and angrily stomped to my closet. _I've got to find something nice, so it'll seem like I'm exactly what they didn't think I was. _I didn't know why I wanted to be so difficult, it was for my own good, or so my Mother thought. But it wasn't for _my _good, it was for her good and my Father's good. It was for their sake I was even getting married.

I pulled out a big white dress, it had many ruffles in it, it was one of the dresses I liked so my Father bought it for me. I laid it down on my bed. I would be sure to be ready for tonight.

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I can't say I liked this chapter to much, but who cares about my opinion? What's yours?

Does "Alice" seem like a nice little innocent girl? ;P


	3. Chapter 3

Ah, I can't say I was too happy with the last chapter. It didn't seem to get a reaction out of anyone.

I hope you think this one is just a tad better!

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man, and all the little bits and pieces that come with it…..D:

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_Ding-dong_

The doorbell rang and Borace walked quickly to the foyer to go get it. I peered down from the top of the stairs and then turned around to take a look at the grandfather clock at the base of the stairs. It read 7:30, they were perfectly on time. Standing in the doorway was a woman that looked very much like Kanda, and a man with frizzy white hair and a beard and of course, my lovely fiancée to be, Kanda Yuu. My mother ran, well walked fast, she says that a lady should never ever run, its rude, she walked quickly over to greet them. "Welcome! Hello, I'm Elizabeth Walker. Oh you must be Mrs. And Mr. Kanda!" She shook their hands.

"Well actually," The man with the frizzy beard started. "Yuu is my step son. I'm Froi Tiedoll." He said warmly.

The Japanese woman spoke quietly. "I am Yuu's Mother, my name is Yuki." Then she bowed.

"Oh, well, welcome! Welcome." My Mother said happily, then my father walked down the steps. "Oh Lynne, the guests are already here! I'm so sorry if I seem rude for being late. I'm Alice's father, Mana Walker." He shook their hands. "Its so nice of you to be here." Borace then took their coats, including Kanda's mind you, I noticed he hadn't said much since he came. But that was alright with me, because tonight, I was going to do the talking.

-First Course-

"So, its great to finally meet you, Mrs. And Mr. Kanda!" I stuck my hand out very un-lady like and fiercely shook both of their hands. Mother gasped. "Alice!" she silently muttered as she sucked in her breath. Oh, and I made sure to let them shake "the" hand. If you know what I mean. They paid no attention, the only reaction I got was from the man, oh what was his name? Oh, yes, Mr. Tiedoll. He kinda coughed and whistled. "That's a strong shake you're daughter's got there." My Mother looked strangely at him. "She could be a good CEO." My Mother kept staring at him. "Lots of hand shaking." He quickly added.

Father laughed. "Oh, yes. We're thinking of letting her take the business after I. Perhaps you have heard of it? Walker and Associates?" Before they could answer though, Borace walked in, "Mister, the table is set and ready." He bowed.

"Oh thank you Borace!" My Mother said cheerfully. "Please, lead the way."

I started to run before Borace. "Its okay Mother! I'll lead the way!" I practically yelled. That breaks two of Mother's rules. Don't yell, don't run. Especially don't run. That one's a biggy, she always says. "Our house is not a racetrack; you are not a racer, do not run in the house. It is rude and un-lady like."

My Mother practically fainted of shock. "Alice!"

Tiedoll was the first to speak after I had run before them. "You know, Yuu, is very into running, he runs practically every morning! It is good exercise."

Darn! My plan wasn't working. The Japanese lady was quietly conversing with Kanda and looked my way a few times. He even smiled a tiny smile. It was so small you wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't squinted, I wasn't sure if it really was there, I think it was though.

I looked down embarrassed. Borace broke the silence. "Mrs. Walker?" He gestured towards the room. "Please."

My Mother walked in leading the rest of the guests, being Kanda and his family. "This is our dining hall. We usually use it only for special occasions. But this is special enough to me!" She exclaimed. Mr. Tiedoll, and Mrs. Kanda looked over the lavishly decorated dining room. "Those pictures," He started. "Oh, they're beautiful. Who painted them?" He asked making his way over to the pictures that I had painted of our back garden in the spring. "Oh that? That's nothing, Alice painted it."

"Actually," Kanda said, before I could say anything. "I think they're very nicely done."

I looked at him suspiciously. "I painted them recently. They're of our back garden a few weeks ago. Father took the time to make a frame for it." Mrs. Kanda smiled. "That's very kind of him, they're very pretty."

We all sat down, Father on the far end of the table, Mother on the other end, Kanda next to me, and Mr. Tiedoll and Mrs. Kanda next to each other.

"So, Mr. Tiedoll, how did you come to meet this fine miss?" My Mother asked politely.

"Well you see, I am an artist,"

"Oh, you are? I can tell, no wonder you were interested in Alice's work." My Mother interrupted, I don't think she meant to though.

"Yes, and I went to Japan to expand my art collection, while I was there, I met Mrs. Kanda here. She was a single mother, and well, then we got married and what not." Mr. Tiedoll finished his story.

"Mrs. Kanda," My Father faced the woman. "Did your past husband pass away?"

"Oh, no, he was of, ah, how do I put this, he did not have a good temper." Her eyes went glassy. "So we got divorced."

"It wasn't a good experience I guess." I shrugged. My Mother threw me an angry look, I just shrugged again, "What? It's true."

Borace came in with a bunch of other waiters, "Tonight, we shall serve a ten course gourmet Thai dinner. First course: Beluga Caviar."

The waiters walked in with silver platters, they set each small plate in front of us. "Oh, Borace, thank you so much! I hope I hadn't put to much pressure on you to put this together!" My Mother said apologetically. "No, no. It was no trouble at all, it is my pleasure to serve you Miss." He bowed. "Well, Mr. Tiedoll, Mrs. Kanda, go ahead and taste it." She said gesturing to the caviar. Before everyone could pick up their forks, I wolfed the small amount of caviar down. "Yum, that was delicious." I exclaimed. My Mother was red with anger. My Father was white with surprise. Kanda raised an eyebrow, Mr. Tiedoll stared at me strangely. And Mrs. Kanda gasped.

It was deathly quiet.

My Mother took a deep breath. "Well," She tried to compose herself. "Please, eat, eat." She coaxed, trying to get everyone to stop staring at me. I could tell she was trying hard to not yell at me or something. The three guests slowly ate the caviar. And not a word more was uttered about it.

I turned to look at Kanda, who was sitting next to me, he had not given the outburst much thought, I don't think he cared even, and that made me angry. I mean, hello? I'm trying to force you out but you stubborn sack of vanity just will not go! Just confess and leave like the rest of them! If it goes to far, then the heartbreak will be even worse! Wait, what was that? What heartbreak? I don't love him! I don't! That's why I don't, I don't love him.

Do I?

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Ah…sorry for the late update, but I suppose it doesn't matter since no one is reading this anyways. But what do you think?

Does she love him?

~Byrdie


	4. Chapter 4

I know it's been a while and you all probably want to kill me for such a late update. Maybe not? Well anyways, thanks for all those nice reviews! I appreciate them so much! You don't even know!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own d gray man.

(Oh and, I recently made a forum, recently as in, a few months ago. ;D and it's a Naruto RP forum, if you know that manga, join please?)

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The rest of dinner was, well, interesting. I think I had the most fun than I've ever had before! It was absolutely delightful, well for me at least. Not so much for my Mother.

"Thank you, and I'm so sorry for what Alice did to your dress, oh I really am, we'll get it dry cleaned and returned to you as soon as possible!" My Mother apologized as Mrs. Kanda walked out the door in one of Mother's dresses. "Oh, no it's alright! Really, I don't mind at all. You're daughter is darling." She said, laughing softly. "She's exactly the kind of person Yuu needs."

I seethed. I ruined her dress and still she thinks I should marry him? Nothing really works out the way you want it to at all! Life is so unfair, I sighed. Oh well, I always have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Kanda spoke up. "Mrs. Walker, it has been a pleasure being here." He bowed. "I hope we can visit again soon." My Mother smiled, you could tell it was forced though. "Yes, I hope you will be able to, maybe next time Alice will _behave_." She looked sourly at me. "I'm sorry." I said quietly. Trying to be as cute as I possibly could, which, by the way is pretty darn cute.

Kanda tried not to blush, but I could see it. I giggled, then started to all out laugh. "ALICE!" My Mother scolded. "What are you laughing at?" I clutched my stomach. "Ha ha! His face!" I sniggered.

Kanda raised a perfectly done eyebrow. "I'm so sorry," Mother apologized yet once again. "She's usually not like this, you know?" Mr. Tiedoll laughed. "My dear little Yuu loves making silly faces. It's no wonder she's laughing." He patted Kanda on the head and Kanda punched his arm, softly, I think. "I'm not your son!" He said angrily. "Don't act like I am!"

Now it was Mother's turn to raise an eyebrow. She looked at them enquiringly, Mrs. Kanda spoke up. "Oh, don't worry, he's always like that. The strong and silent type you know?" She joked. My Mother wasn't so sure about what she meant but managed to muster a "Yes," anyways.

"Well, thank you so much for having us over!" Mr. Tiedoll said happily. "Our pleasure," My Father shook his hand. "Goodnight, have a safe trip home!" He waved as they walked out the door. I was to busy thinking to notice Kanda look at me. All I heard was, "She's exactly the kind of person you need in your life, Yuu-chan."

I watched them walk out and as soon as their car pulled out of the circle drive, I sighed. This was going to be so much harder than I thought it would. Really. I didn't care for marriage, not now at least, I wasn't going to pretend to love someone I clearly didn't love. Why pretend when someone better was bound to come along and sweep me off my feet? Then I could really love, really. I turned around to walk up the stairs but Mother stopped me.

Uh-oh.

"Alice dear, we need to talk." My Mother had no love in her voice, she said it strictly and angrily. Just then, I wanted to squirm away, I knew what was coming, so I just stood still and didn't look up. "Alice! Do you know how long I've waited for this moment? For you to finally get married and get rid of that arm of yours? It's ruining me! It's ruining us! Everyone! Haven't you ever wondered why you aren't aloud to go outside? Besides the balcony? Haven't you ever wondered why you aren't allowed to go to those schools like all the other boys and girls of your age? Do you know why?" I didn't answer, I knew it was making her even more angry. I could almost feel the anticipation of her hand, wanting to slap me, nice and hard. Just the way I deserved it. "You want to know why?" Her voice was rising, she would never- "BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY! BECAUSE YOU'RE CURSED! You know it, Alice? Look at yourself? Is that beautiful to you?" She grabbed my head and shoved it into the mirror. I squeezed my eyes closed, I couldn't face my reflection now. "LOOK AT YOURSELF!" She shrieked. "LOOK AT THE HIDIOUSNESS! I can't believe I even _birthed _this, this vile _creature_!" I cracked an eye open, and I saw it, what was supposed to be me. What was supposed to be Alice Walker. She started to cry. I'd never seen my Mother cry before, and I didn't know what to do. "You know, when you were born, they wanted to kill you, they saw you and said, 'Madam, she's cursed, you cannot keep a cursed child.' Do you know what I said, Alice? I said, 'No child should be killed, no matter what their looks are, this child is not any different. I most certainly will not get her killed! It is unorthodox.' And every night after you were born, what a small weak child you were, I prayed for you. You were so weak, Alice. So I prayed, I prayed, night and day for you not to die. And now, now look at you! I should have let them done as they wished." She said bitterly.

Words like that had never left my Mother's mouth before, I had never heard her say that before, never knew she thought that way about me. I was crushed. All my life, she's only ever shown me love, support, and kindness. Now, I finally know the truth. This is it. I willed myself not the cry, don't you dare cry! Don't you dare show your weakness, Alice! That's just what she wants to see. "Fine, you don't love me? FINE! I'm leaving! Forever! I'll never come back and you'll never have to see my face ever again!" I cried with all the power I could. I left my Mother there, stunned, and I stomped up the stairs and went to grab all of the things that were mine.

I quickly changed clothes and put a bandage over my left eye and put on a long black coat. I peered downstairs, it was black no one was down there. I crept down and rummaged through my Mother's purse, I grabbed the gold and silver (platinum they called it?) plastic cards. The ones Mother told me she used to buy me all of my nice clothes. I also took so other things that I thought I might need. I few pound notes and I was set. I bet my Mother thought I was kidding because she wasn't down there looking for me or anything. I'd always wanted to go outside. Always, I'd never been able to, and I used to not know why, but now I do. Ignorance is bliss. I thought sadly. I pulled my suitcase, my only suitcase out the door and looked at the large wrought iron gate with a big letter "W" in it. I pushed it open and pulled it close. Now I was on the outside, finally.

"Au Revoir." I whispered.

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On My Own- Les Meserbles, is an awesome song!

Wait, that's off topic…

Well, what do you think? Oh and for you people clueless about French. "Au Revoir" is good bye.

Did you like it? Who do you think she'll meet, out on the streets?

Reviews make me update faster!


	5. Chapter 5

Hehe! I told you reviews made me update faster! I think some of you are even going to be able to read two new chapters because I updated so fast! Well here it is!

(for those of you who guessed she was going to meet Lavi, you smart people!)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own d gray man.

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That night was dreadful, I had no idea where I was going to stay, it was late at night and all i saw people walking along the streets everywhere. I looked around myself and I spotted a dot of red hair. I didn't know why I followed it, I just had the impulse to. I ran across the street and people beeped and honked at me, I didn't know what I was doing was wrong so I just ignored it and kept running. "Ah, Mister." I grasped the red haired person's sleeve. "Could you possibly help me find a place to stay the night? I'm sort of a stranger to the outdoor-I mean London."

The red haired man looked at me for a second, "Wait, where have I seen this face before." He tapped his chin, then looked at me again. "Do you, by any chance, know Kanda Yuu?" I gaped. "Yes! Yes! He's my fiancée! Well something of that sort at least. I doubt he still wants to marry me after today."

He nodded. "Well follow me, I'm a friend of Yuu's and would love to help you! Oh and my name is Lavi." He said happily.

"Oh, okay!" I followed him down the street into a small bookstore. "Bookman! I'm home!" he called casually.

"Um, are you sure its okay for me to stay with you? Would your Father mind?" I asked nervously. He kept walking as he talked. "Nah, he won't care." He led me up the stairs and into a room. "So," He started. "What brings you to the busy streets of London?"

"Well, as you know, Kanda is my fiancée and well, lets just put it this way, I kinda screwed some things up. I ran away from home." I sighed. "Now my hopes of ever getting married are shattered." I sounded like my Mother. "Well, its not my dream to get married, it's my Mother's and that's the reason I'm not at home right now." I said quickly.

Lavi nodded. "Go on."

"Well you see, tonight we had a dinner party, or something along the lines of that at least. And the Kanda's were invited, or rather, Mrs. Kanda, Mr. Tiedoll, and Kanda." I laughed softly. "The whole time I was trying to get Mrs. Kanda or Mr. Tiedoll to disapprove of me."

"Why?"

"Because for some reason I just thought he was so, I don't know, fake." I said. "He wasn't like all the other people you know? He didn't run away from me! And it just made me mad, its not that I didn't want to be thought of as pretty or anything like that. I just knew I wasn't pretty and I didn't want anyone lying to me because then it would make me feel ten times worse! And when he was nice to me and all, it felt so fake, maybe it was because I'd never really been loved before, maybe its because I'd never really loved anyone before. I don't know, I just felt so stupid trying to be nice and formal and stuff, it just felt so wrong."

"He does like you." Lavi said.

"Who?"

"Kanda, he really does like you. He does think you're somewhat frustrating though." He chuckled. "He didn't understand why you were never happy, he got the impression you didn't like him, at all. I told him that I was sure she liked him, but at the time I hadn't even met you before."

"So now you aren't so sure?" I interrupted.

"Well, Kanda's just not used to rejection, you know he grew up all his life loved and pampered and spoiled. You know he acts so strong on the outside, but on the inside, he has insecurities too. He didn't want to ask if you liked him because he was scared you were going to reject him. But now that I know you, you don't seem like the type of person that would reject him."

"Well, I would!" I huffed.

"You know you're really easy to see through?" Lavi teased. I blushed. "I don't love him though!"

"But that's not what you're thinking on the inside, you do love him."

"I don't!"

"But you do!"

"No, I don't! I would never love that, that big sack of vanity!" I cried.

"Okay, okay calm down. Maybe you don't think you like him now, but just wait, it'll get the best of you." Just then his phone rang. "Hold on, I need to get this." He picked up the phone. "Hey Yuu-Chan!"

I could clearly hear him shout. "Don't call me Yuu-chan!" oh the other end.

"You would never guess who's at my house right now." He said lightly.

No he wouldn't! "Don't you dare!" I hissed.

"Who?" Kanda asked, gosh, Lavi's phone was on really loud.

"Guess!"

"Some hooker? No a prostitute you picked up on the streets." He said sarcastically.

"Nope! But you got the 'on the streets' part." He laughed. I punched him, hard. "Oof!" hit the wall.

"What was that? Lavi?" Kanda asked. "Whatever, I have to talk to you."

Lavi recovered from the punch and replied. "Well of course you do, then you wouldn't be calling me at this late hour."

"I think I'm in love with her."

"Who?"

"You know, the girl! Alice!" As soon as I heard that I grabbed the phone. "Kanda?" I practically yelled into the phone.

"Alice?" he sounded surprised. "What are you- Lavi! Is this the person the you 'picked up on the streets'" Kanda asked angrily. "Alice! What were you doing outside from your house?" He asked, I could hear the worry in his voice.

My lip quivered. "I ran away from home. But that doesn't matter! Do you," I bit my lip. "Really love me?"

It was silent for a moment. I wanted to cry. "Yes."

"Really?" I asked. Lavi looked at me smugly.

"Yeah."

"Really?" I asked, I couldn't believe my ears.

"Yes, really now stop saying really, you sound like an idiot!" He boomed.

I laughed. That's my Kanda.

--

Hooray!

Two updates in two days!

Review please? (I didn't like this chappie much. It was a five minute thing. I promise the next one will be MUY BUENO! (nataeity1! That's for you!))

~byrdie


	6. Chapter 6

So, after two whole weeks of not updating, here I am!

And winter vacation is right around the corner so lucky you! I'm going to be updating as much as I can over the break. Anyways, it snowed the other day! Its getting colder by the day.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own dgm! Wah

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_Lavi let me stay in his room that night, I couldn't sleep though, I was to busy thinking about what Kanda had said and replaying it in my mind. He loves me! I can't believe he loves me! I would walk around the room and just think about him. I didn't get a wink of sleep. When I saw the first bit of sun stream through my window, I went downstairs. Lavi was making coffee, "Good morning!" I said happily. _

_Lavi stared at me for a second, he didn't look very happy. "Oh, Good morning, how did you sleep?" _

"_Fine. Actually, I didn't sleep at all, I was awake the entire night. Can you believe he loves me? I can't believe it!" I gushed. _

Then, I woke up.

I was acting like such a girl! Is that what I become when I fall in love? If that's it, I'm never going to admit it. But I already did. I sighed. My emotions were written all over my face, how could I hide it anyways? I pushed myself up and sat on the bed, my hair was a mess, I could feel it tangled and messy. Did I even bring a hairbrush? Would Lavi have one? I ran my hand through my hair and sighed again. So many stupid tangles, I looked at the white locks of hair, examining them for split ends or whatever. It was so hard to tell, it didn't matter though, you wouldn't be able to tell one way or another. I pushed the door open I could smell the strong smell of burnt coffee. Downstairs I heard. "Aw, Gramps, you burnt the coffee again!" I giggled.

I walked down the stairs and saw Lavi desperately trying to scrape the burnt coffee out of the pot. "Oh! Good morning, Alice. Did you sleep well?" Lavi asked turning around to look at me. I shrugged. "Fine." He turned back around and placed the pot in the sink. "Well, um, breakfast isn't really huge at our house, so, um," He looked at the coffee pot. "do you want some coffee?"  
I looked at the coffee. Then back at him, like, are you serious?

"Okay, I guess not. Well are you hungry? I mean, its almost 11:00. We can go out for lunch, I'll invite Yuu-Chan!" He said happily.

"Okay." I managed a smile. "That sounds fun. Where do you want to go?"

He tapped his chin. "I don't know, where do you want to go? Oh! I know, let's ask Yuu-Chan where he wants to go for lunch. Hold on, let me call him." Lavi grabbed his phone and dialed his number. I could hear it ringing. "Hi, Yuu-Chan!" He said loudly. "Alice and I were going to lu-" He stopped mid-sentence. "Oh, okay." He looked at me for a second. "Alice, excuse me." He quickly ran to another room.

I stood there, bewildered. "What's going on?" I whispered. I followed him down the hall, I could hear his voice, but the door was locked and I couldn't get in.

"Why did you lie like that?" Pause. "Does Lenalee know?" Another pause. "So do your parents know?"

Who was Lenalee? I was beginning to become suspicious. I pressed my ear harder on the door.

"They don't? Are you just going to leave with her?" the phone must have been on speaker now because I could hear everything Kanda said perfectly. "Yes, I didn't expect her to come here, I had no idea how she even knew I was here."

"How are you going to tell Alice?" Lavi's voice was full of worry.

There was a long pause. "I don't know."

"No let me reword that. Are you even going to tell her?"

"I don't know, it's really complicated Lavi. Last night I called you to tell you, but she was there and what did you expect me to say? No I don't love you? I'm already engaged to another woman a thousand miles away? Come on. Be real."

"Kanda, its your fault. When you came here what did you say? You said you were here for business, why did you court her? You were already engaged weren't you? Either way both girls won't be happy. You got yourself into this mess. I don't know how I can help you out of this."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, Kanda was already engaged? To a lady named Lenalee? My heart was shattered. I loved him. How could I fall in love with him! I knew it! I knew he wasn't any good! I knew he was going to break my heart, broken so many times before, all it took was just this one time, this one time I actually fell in love.

I burst into the room.

"Alice!" Lavi cried surprised.

"I knew it, Kanda! You were just as fake as all those other bastards! All of them! You're no better off then the rest of them! You lied to me, you cheated me, you killed me, Kanda! You murdered me!" I screeched.

"Alice wait!" I heard him cry desperately. "Let me explain."

"No! There's no more explaining needed! I heard it all! Okay? Just leave, go back to whatever goddamned place you came from! I don't want to love you! I don't ever want to see you! I heard everything, go marry that Lenalee bitch. Be happy without me! I don't care, just, just leave! Don't you dare ever, ever think of setting foot in London ever again!" Tears streamed down my face as I screamed into the phone. I ran out the door, "I'm leaving Lavi! You're no better off than that bastard Kanda!"

"Alice! Don't go! You don't understand!"

"I do damn well understand, Lavi! He doesn't love me, how hard is that to understand. I get it!" I cried. "Leave me alone!" I ran into the small foyer, leaving everything I had brought, and wrenched the door open. I ran out into the open streets, screaming. "How could you Kanda? Lavi? Why did you do this to me? What have I done to deserve this kind of torture?" I ran, and ran, and ran. I knew Lavi was following me. And in the midst's of my misery, I heard him scream my name. "ALICE!" He cried.

I turned just in time to see a car, then I saw flying colors, then red, red, red, then black, then nothing at all.

-----

Ah, I think I liked this chapter

:D

well anyways

what do you think? Did you think I was going to let their relationship go smooth?

~byrdie


	7. Chapter 7

Its been a while since I last updated. About a week or so, but its winter break and I just thought I would update for those readers that aren't off somewhere cool for winter break.

Anyways, I was thinking about a Christmas themed chapter, but I decided against it so here you go!

WARNING: VERY VERY AU KANDA! *FLASHING RED LIGHTS*

DISCLAIMER: I don't own dgm.

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When I woke up, the first thing I thought was, I'm gonna get that sonofabitch back for what he did. The second thing I thought when I awoke was, oh my gosh, I'm tied up in bandages from head to toe, I can't even turn my head. This was true because I couldn't move my head, much less my arm because something soft and bristly was tickling it. I tried as hard as I could to look somewhere other than the white ceiling, no such luck. I sighed, what is that? It was so annoying! I wanted to push whatever was tickling my hand away, but I couldn't, so I spoke. "Um," assuming it was another person. "Could you move?"

The immobile thing moved, I couldn't see what, or who it was, but I was pretty sure.

"You're awake." Was the first thing that came out of my never-was-fiancée's mouth. I snorted, "Yes, I'm awake, how else would I be talking to you right now? If you want to talk to me, could you stand up so I can see you?" I asked pathetically. I heard the squeaking of the chair moving back. I saw Kanda's face looming over me. "Alice, I can explain."

I would have raised my hand right then and given him a good hard slap. "Like hell you do. Thanks for the lie, could I have fries with that?"

"I know you're mad at me,"

I snorted again. "Stating the obvious aren't we now? I thought you were smart?"

"Please, let me speak." He looked away from me for a minute. "I wasn't ever planning to marry Lenalee," He stopped and murmured to himself. "No, I have to start before that." He started again. "When I was very young, my family and Lenalee's family were very close. We were family friends and business partners. So the whole time I was growing up, we were pretty much destined to get married. And don't get me wrong, it's not like she wasn't pretty or smart, she was, but I just didn't love her that way. The problem was, she did love me that way and I didn't want to risk ruining the family name, so I agreed to marry her, under one condition."

"That being?" I raised my eye brow as well as I could, my entire forehead was covered in bandages.

"That we get engaged two years before the wedding."

"Why? That's so pointless."

"Well, like I said, I didn't really even love her, maybe as a sister, but not as a lover. I told myself that I wanted those two years before the wedding to get to know her better and maybe I would just grow to love her. But that was all bullshit. I knew that wasn't true. I wanted that time just to get away from her for a while before I had to get married. It's pretty terrible, but it's true. Our parents agreed that it wouldn't be fair of them to just force each other's children to marry someone they didn't love, so they said that during those two years, if each of us could find someone that was better than each other, then we could request to marry that man or woman." He licked his lips. "Lenalee, of course, didn't like that idea. She love me, and only me, so she didn't even bother to go and look for someone, I didn't want to hurt her, so I told her that I was going on a business trip to England, not to find someone else, just a business trip." He sighed. "And so I came, hoping that my being in England would weaken her love for me, but it didn't and she came looking for me. And that brings us to today." He sat back down.

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"I hope you do."

"How do I know you're not lying to me like you lied to her? Judging from what you just said, I have every right to say that you are a liar and a cheat."

"How else can I convince you?" I could hear annoyance and aggravation in his voice. "If I told you I loved you, would that make you happy?"

"Kanda, this isn't about being happy or not, this has nothing to do with me being happy, if you told me you loved me, but you didn't mean it, how would that make me happy? Don't kid yourself Kanda. You're just playing me like you did Lenalee."

He was silent. "If I didn't care about you, why do you think I stayed by your side for the past two weeks you were in a coma? Why do you think I even bothered to ask you how I could make you happy? If I didn't care about you _that_ much, I never would have taken two weeks off from my job to care for you. If I didn't care I wouldn't even have taken the phone call from your parents saying that you had been badly injured."

"Why did they call you?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, then his voice came out barely in a whisper. "Because you kept calling my name. That's what they said."

My eyes widened.

"I'd never lie to you." He added quickly.

"You stupid, stupid, stupid…"I sniffed as tears betrayed my eyes and dripped down the side of my face. I couldn't wipe them up, but Kanda did. "Why do you love me? I'm ugly, I'm ugly!"

He took out a soft handkerchief from his pocket and wiped my eyes. "No, you're not. You're beautiful! And don't let anyone tell you any different, because they wouldn't know any better than me." And then, he did something that I never would have suspected.

He kissed me.

And I cried. "You're kidding."

"Tch. You're hard to please Alice."

"So are you, Kanda."

"I love you Alice. There does that make you happy?"

"Say it like you mean it."

"I love you, Alice Walker."

I didn't want to believe him, but there was nothing I could do, I was another hapless victim to love.

"Me too."

Uck…I didn't like this one…it was really short. I guess I'll try and make the next one better.

I know I keep saying that. :P

Its not my fault I'm not a really good writer…or it is.

It was also a five minute thing.

I'm off to Colorado! Yay!

~byrdie


	8. Chapter 8

I know its been about two weeks since I last updated. But who cares? No one reads this…

Anyways, Colorado was fun! But cold. Very very cold.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own dgm

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It was a few minutes after I awoke from my slumber that I realized that Kanda had gone. No trace of him anywhere. I didn't know what to expect. He was busy, or so I suspected, he couldn't just stay around and talk. I didn't think that _she_ would come to _my_ room to look for him though.

"Kanda!" Lenalee, or who I suspected to be her, burst through my door. She looked around for a few seconds and spotted me. "Oh, its just you. I can't believe someone like you could steal Kanda from someone like me." She scowled. "You're not even that pretty. I don't know what he sees in you." She walked closer to my bed. "You're hair, its all white. Ugh. What is wrong with you?" She reminded me of Mother, everything about her. What she wore, how she talked, everything.

"Are you stupid? Talk! Have you seen Yuu? I'm looking for him, he told me he had to talk to me about something. Probably about changing his mind about marrying you." My stomach sunk. She flicked her fingers at me.

I didn't say anything. Who was this person to think she was so much more superior than me? I didn't see anything about her that was particularly striking. Okay that was a lie. Everything about her was striking. I couldn't see why Kanda would choose me over her. She had a perfect body, just like him, her entire face was perfect, just like his, her hair was perfect, just like him. Her entire being was perfect. Even the aura she gave off was pure perfection. They would have made a perfect match. Looking at her now made my relationship with him completely dysfunctional.

"Lenalee." I managed to croak before she turned her head to walk away. "Why do you hate me?"

She looked surprised. "Oh? You speak. Even your voice is ugly." She sniffed and walked away. Her response caught me off guard, she was snobby, but I didn't thin she was that snobby. I was slightly hurt by her words. I couldn't retort because I knew she was better than me, looks wise. I just watched her walk out the door, at that time, I wasn't sure about Kanda again. What did he see in me that she didn't have? I tried to picture myself. I really couldn't just get up and look in a mirror because I'm still injured, so I just tried to picture.

_Blue gray eyes._

_Pale white skin._

_Short, skinny form._

_Spindly arms and legs._

_White hair. _

_Cursed arm._

_Cursed._

I didn't want to think of what I looked like. I didn't care, I knew I was ugly, I knew it! Even if Kanda told me I was beautiful a million times. I still knew. I just wanted someone to tell me the truth. Not that people didn't already do so, I wanted them to do it in a nice way. But that wouldn't be possible, everything I want is so complicated! I didn't want to be like this. I want to be pretty! I want to be like Lenalee! I want to be beautiful and smart and dazzling! And have every part of my existence be striking! I wanted to be perfection, I wanted to be created so beautifully that God would be proud of his creation.

But that isn't me.

That just isn't me. I'm not the beautiful one that everyone envies, with the perfect face and perfect smile. I didn't have the perfect hair that blew perfectly in the wind. I didn't have the perfect eyes that people just couldn't stop staring at.

All I had was the curse that people couldn't get over. The strange star over my cursed eye, the strange cursed arm, strange, strange, strange, everything about me was strange. No one even knew I existed until two weeks before now. No one knew that I was even a human being. Who was Elizabeth and Mana Walker's daughter? Did she die during birth? Was she kidnapped? Who was she? Where is she? No one cared after that. They thought I just died, they thought I just disappeared. And so I did. I did disappear.

Until now.

"Miss Alice Walker!" A reporter burst into my room. "What kind of things did your Mother do to you to make you want to run away?" Another reporter came in, they just started to file in one at a time, with their cameras and microphones. "Why did you try and commit suicide?" "Why were you kept in confinement until now?" "Is it true that you are cursed because of an old story?" "Did your parents hurt you as a child?" "Did your parents let you out of their home as a desperate cry for attention?"

Millions of questions were asked at me all at once. Some I had never even heard of. I had never tried to commit suicide. My parents never did anything to hurt me! There were so many people here it was suffocating. Why weren't the nurses coming to get them out? Why were they here in the first place? Who were they? What did they want from me? I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to hear myself think. It was just so loud in here! Suddenly, I was lifted into the air, my eyes flew open. It was Kanda. I could barely hear him when he said. "Lets go." I quickly nodded as he carried me out of the room, with the paparazzi following closely behind. "God, I hate those shitty photographers. They're so fucking annoying!" He growled once we were about a foot away from the nasty tabloid-writers. It wasn't very far, but it was a start. He ran, or walked quickly mind you, to his car. It was a sleek black porche. I raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry Kanda, as much as I would like to go run away with you, I'm still an ever sick patient with a broken, ow!" I winced as he plopped my down in the passenger seat. "Hey! That hurt you idiot!"

He ran to the other side and got in the car. "Shut up, we've got pursuers hot on our trail, do you think I care?"

"The nasty tabloid-writers?" I asked turning around to look at the latter.

"No, Lenalee's bunch."

-------

!!!!!!!

I am so sorry! I told you this one would be better.

And longer.

But I lied!

T_T

I wish it was longer.

But I guess it doesn't matter…since it's the people in my head reading this.

~byrdie


	9. Chapter 9

Its been a while since I last updated, I'm real sorry. Ah, well its been busy and all, with school and you know. But spring break is starting next week so I hopefully can make up all those weeks I missed!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own in any way shape or form, Allen, Kanda, or Lenalee. I do own the name Alice though. Heh heh heh.

---------------------------------------------

My heart sunk at the thought of Lenalee, why did she like Kanda so much? It made me sad to think that he didn't like her back. It must be terrible for her. But who wouldn't like Kanda? Aside from his nasty attitude, he looks as perfect as an angel. Its no wonder girls and boys, mind you, stare at him when he walks down the street, he's so perfect.

Perfect.

That word makes my heart ache. I wish I could be perfect, but I'm not, I'm just not. Sitting in the car, it made me wonder for the first time in a week or two. _What are my parents doing right now? I wonder if they're worrying about me? _I shook my head clear of silly thoughts, my Mother told me she didn't like me, but, but what about Father? Does he think I'm a devil child too? I looked at myself in the rearview mirror, I'm not _that_ ugly am I?

"What're you staring at?" Kanda asked gruffly. "I need to see behind me, damnit!" He swerved the car, I was swung to the right, I winced in pain, I still wasn't fully healed from the whole car accident thing. Did my parents visit me when I was in the hospital at all? I didn't get anything from them, no flowers, no cards, no balloons. The last time I was in the hospital for pneumonia, my room was full of all sorts of things, my parents even brought a singer to come sing for me. But this time, there was nothing, I felt like, like, I didn't want to say it, I felt, like no one loved me. And when Lenalee came to see me, it pushed me further, further, further into reality. I didn't want to face the truth. I liked my dream world. With my perfect Mother and Father, when they still loved me and cared for me. But now, everything has changed, they don't care about me anymore. They don't care if I die, they didn't care this time, they wouldn't care any other time either.

"Kanda?"

"Hm." He grunted. Clutching the steering wheel, he was holding it so tight his knuckles were white.

_Do you really love me or are you just feeling sorry for me?_

"You seem a little stressed." I placed a soft hands on his larger ones. I decided not to ask him that. It wouldn't be very nice of me. It would show that I was doubting him, yet again. I didn't want to doubt him, but there was so much of it in my life, I didn't know what to do! What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to think? There was no other way to think, I knew no other way. I had been taught no other way.

"Che, you think? I've been driving at 100 fucking miles an hour trying to get away from that god damned annoying Lenaleee. Of course I'm stressed." He gritted his teeth.

I looked down. "Ah, well…I'm sorry?"

He didn't reply, so I just looked back and saw a number of shiny black cars, Lexus, Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Cadillac, Mercedes, Lexus, I counted. I looked at the steering wheel of the car I was currently in, I don't even know what it was, probably some foreign sports car of sorts. He suddenly turned into the parking lot of an old mansion, opened the window, punched in a code that opened the gate, and sped into the circle drive in front. The gate closed behind us.

"Where is this?" I squeaked, the swerving had taken a massive toll on my physical health. I hurt all over. I probably developed some nice bruises as well.

Kanda looked up, "It's my old house."

----------------------------------------------

It was short and I'm sorry for that.

But its like 1Am

And I've got to go to bed.

Night guys.

~byrdie.


	10. Chapter 10

Okay you guys, bear with me! I don't know if I had already said this or not, but originally I was going to end it at the 10th chapter, and as you can tell, it's probably going to be a bit longer than that. Eh heheh? And I was planning to do and epilogue…so if you're like me, you're probably thinking, oh my gosh, just get this done already! If you're not like me then you're probably thinking, OMG OMG OMG I wanna know what happens!

WARNING: no its nothing like that. VERY VERY OOC KANDA! In my opinion. Just a warning.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'man.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You-you're old house?" I laughed nervously. "W-Why a-are w-we at y-you-you're old house?" I stuttered. He snickered as he stepped out of the car and crossed around to open the door on the passenger side. "What do you think I'm going to do to you?" He asked creepily as he helped me out of the car. "Rape you?" He kissed the nape of my neck, probably just to creep me out. I screamed. "G-gosh! D-don't do that!" I blushed a fiery red color. "Calm down, I wouldn't do that to you. Unless," His mouth turned up in somewhat of a smirk or a half smile. "You _want _me to?" I blushed even harder, if I could even do that, my face was practically on fire. "E-ew! No!" I put one arm around his shoulder and he put an arm around my waist. To help support me, mind you. Then somehow he pulled out a bouquet of very mangled roses. I don't know where he even got them. I'd never noticed them at all. "Here." He shoved them at me and looked away, almost as if he was embarrassed.

"They look dead!"

"Well what do you expect? I was going to give them to you earlier, but we ran into Lenalee…" His voice trailed off. "Well, be happy I even got you anything!"

I ran, more like hobbled, as fast as I could with my bad leg, and Kanda following close behind. "We need to get these flowers some water!" I cried. Kanda laughed as he watched me struggle with the door. "It's locked you idiot!" I puffed cheeks up and pouted, "Well then open it for me, _Darling._" He rolled his eyes and unlocked the door.

The foyer of the house was lavishly decorated, even Mother would have been proud. There were countless paintings on the walls, small paintings, large ones, wall paintings, there were so many of them! And all of them were so nicely done! I marveled at the paintings for a minute. Then Kanda cut in. "Don't you want to give those flowers some water?"

"Oh yeah!" I laughed sheepishly. "Where's the kitchen?"

The kitchen, just like the rest of the house was nice, the whole house seemed to have an oriental theme to it, even the lamps had paper coverings. The faucets were made to look like water pumps, they were so nicely crafted that the only thing that gave them away was the gold color.

"My Mother wanted to have 24 karat gold faucets, because that was what we had back in Japan." He told me after he gave me a vase to put the flowers in.

"Do you ever miss Japan?" I asked him, placing the vase on the marble countertop. He had never really talked about it. I stared at him for a minute, I noticed that his hair wasn't in its usual high ponytail, it was loose and low and swept over his shoulder. "Sometimes." And that's all he said about it. We stood there in an awkward silence for about five minutes. I didn't really know how to start a conversation, and it was getting embarrassing.

"So…" I started. "How about you give me a tour of your house?" I finished lamely.

He laughed again. "You really want to get it don't you?"

"Wha-Ew! NO! What is wrong with you!?" After another minute of me hitting him and screaming at him for being a gross pervert, he led me out of the kitchen and in to the, or what I thought was, the dining room. "This is the breakfast room, this is where we eat breakfast, obviously." He walked through another door, "this is the dining room. This is where we have the rest of our meals. Oh and by the way, we don't live here anymore. Tiedoll's been going places recently and so we just kinda let the house go. We haven't sold it yet though, Mother doesn't want to." He led me into another room this one was full of windows and plants. "This is our sun room. We recently got it extended." He pointed to a glass door further down. "Mother wanted an indoor pool and a hot tub, she's crazy. But it hasn't been used yet. But just to keep it looking good, we always have someone come and clean it twice a week." We exited the sun room and entered a room that was on a raised wooden platform, I found out it was there the hard way. "Watch your-" But it was too late because I already tripped on the raised ledge and fell flat on my face.

"Ow…This can not be good for me. Ow." Kanda kneeled down. "Didn't you want a tour of the house, Ma'am?" He smirked. "You're a jerk! You should have helped me up!" He grabbed my hand and pulled my up, then he kissed my forehead. "All better. Well, moving right along. This is my practice room, as you probably know, I'm quite fond of Kendo." The room had bamboo slats used for the walls. And there were a number of practice swords propped against the wall. We approached the stairs. "Um, can you, uh, help me? I don't think I can get up the s-AH!" He picked me up bridal style and walked my up the stairs. Then he carried me all the way into what I suspected to be his room, and plopped my down on the bed. "And this is where you'll be staying the night."

Then randomly I remembered Lenalee. "Why didn't Lenalee follow us here?" I blurted. It had been bugging me, but I didn't think to ask…

He looked at me funny. "Did you want her to?"

"Well no, but…"

"She doesn't know how to get here? Didn't you notice that the house is like in the middle of a fucking forest?"

I laughed, "Oh yeah. By the way, who's room is this?"

"Mine."

"Then where are you going to be sleeping?" I asked, nervous again. I didn't want him to sleep here, well I wouldn't really mind, and actually I would mind! What if something happened? But if I god scared during the night he would be here, but it would be so awkward sharing the same bed with a boy!

"Here. It's my room, where did you think I'd be staying?" He asked slyly. I blushed. "Don't worry, like I said before, I wouldn't do anything you don't want me to do, unless you do want me to do something." He teased.

"Gosh! That's so gross!" I huffed. "I'm going to go shower!" I announced. Kanda followed me into the bathroom. "What?" I asked loudly. "Don't you need help showering? With your injuries and all, I think I should help you." He didn't sound like he was teasing me this time, he sounded dead serious. I blushed. _I was a girl! He was a boy! And if I took a bath, I'd have to take my clothes off! _"Alice? Hello?" He waved his hand in my face.

"Eh? Oh, yeah, er, um…" I was totally embarrassed! My face was so red I could feel the burning. "Hurry up. You're not going to take a bath with your clothes on." He was so oblivious to everything! Couldn't he tell I was freaking out? But I needed a bath. It was only a bath and I was disabled, he's just helping me, it's just a bath. Just a bath, I calmed myself down a bit and replied as steady as I could. "Okay, hold on let me undress. I'll tell you to come in when I'm in the bath, okay?" He nodded.

I stepped into the room where the bath tub was, it was huge! It was like a big round swimming pool! It was even clear! I turned the water on and waited for it to get warm. I noticed an assortment of different shampoos and conditioners and bubble baths and soaps. "Kanda?"

"What? Are you done yet?"

"No. can I use that bubble bath?" I asked.

"Sure whatever, hurry up I don't have all day."

"Okay." I poured a bunch of the green liquid into the giant fishbowl, it started to bubble and I stopped the water. There was a nice mountain of minty green bubbles on top of the water. I undressed, staring at myself in the mirror. I was fifteen and still looked undeveloped. My skin was pale and white in the long mirror, I quickly stepped into the warm water. I took a deep breath and wondered why I needed help taking a bath anyways. "Come in."

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I realized that she wouldn't need help even if she was hurt, but whatever, its something to tell.

I'm updating a lot this week. :D

~byrdie


	11. Chapter 11

I'm updating again, originally I was going to do a one chapter a week thing. But that didn't really work out so…well I'll update when I can. How about that?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'man

WARNING: there might be some….lime? no lemon…ew….no lemon. SICKOS! I WOULD NEVER WRITE THAT! XP yuks. More AU Kanda, I'm sorry, you must hate that.

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Alice felt a hot stinging pain at her foot, _Oh! My casts! That's why he wanted to help me. _She heaved her foot to the side of the tub, and then pushed herself up. The doorknob clicked. _Oh, I need to get something!_ She grabbed the closest thing to her, which unfortunately was the floor mat. She wrapped around her as fast as she could, which was pretty darn quick.

The door swung open, Kanda stepped in. "Uh, Alice, what are you doing?" He looked me up and down. My cheeks burned. "S-stop staring at me!" I tried to pull the mat a bit lower, but it was so damn small! He walked closer to me and towered over me. "What have you got to hide? We'll be married soon anyways, so I'll be seeing all of you anyways." He held the hand that held up the towel and gently removed it from its tight grip on the towel. I heaved a shaky breath, as the towel/mat slid down my body. My big blue eyes stared at him as he wrapped an arm around my bare waist and leaned in and kissed my neck. Then moved up and grazed my lip.

"No!" I grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around my body again, and ran into the room and hid under the covers. _Ew! I wasn't wearing anything! And he was holding me! And it felt kinda good…NO! it didn't feel good! Calm down Alice, you will be marrying him, but isn't this kinda early? It is early! I can't do that now! Breath Alice, breath Alice! Calm down! _I breathed deeply, taking in the fragranced air of the sheets. Clean air. But I was still only wrapped in a towel, sitting on Kanda's bed.

On Kanda's bed.

Kanda's _bed._ Where he sleeps, _Oh god! I have to get-_ The sheet and comforter was lifted up off me. "Eh heh heh? Hi?" I laughed nervously. Kanda looked thoughtful. "If you didn't want…never mind, it was my fault. I'm sorry Alice, I couldn't contain myself." He didn't look at me. I felt guilty, like it was me that had some how tempted him, well, I wasn't pretty or anything, so that wouldn't be it. But if I wasn't pretty, then why would he like me in the first place? Maybe he- NO! I will not doubt him! He loves me! He does! So why doesn't it feel right? I looked at him sadly, "Kanda you do love me don't you?" I mentally slapped myself, word vomit! I have to get rid of that problem.

"Yes."

"Oh, okay." Why was I not convinced? This person has gone through so much for me, why didn't I know that? why couldn't I realize that and thank him and move on?

Moving on.

Moving on.

I've moved on too much, I've moved on from my friends, my family. I've left them behind, and I've moved on from death. I've cheated it twice now. Twice I haven't deserved it. Was this fate? Why had I cheated death twice? Why had I lived? Was I meant to meet him? Was I meant to love him like this? This terribly unrequited love with too many corners? Too many holes? Too many chances? But there has to be a reason I am living, there has to be a reason!

So I can just thank God, I have to thank him until I find a real reason. "Kanda, I'm sorry. I've been a terrible person to you, and I know you probably want to rip me to shreds sometimes, most times. But I-I just…" I sobbed, I had no idea why I was crying, I wanted to stop but the tears cascaded down my face like the first rain after years of drought. "Need closure." He wrapped my in the sheet and cradled me in his arms. He didn't say anything, he didn't need too. Sure he might have been mad, but he did a damn good job at concealing it.

"Alice, you're a hard nut to crack." He finally said. "I can't figure you out. You're so damn frustrating! But somehow that makes me want you even more. Don't worry. If you're worrying about your parents or Lenalee, none of that matters right now. Just wait and everything bad will pass."

My tears were staining his shirt, I could see it. Then I remembered, I was never a happy child, beat, I only tried to remember the good, but bad memories have to come back sooner or later. "Mommy beat me." I mumbled into his shirt. "She hated me. She drank, Daddy always tried to stop her. But Mommy is, is," I sobbed again. "Sorry."

Kanda ran his hand through my hair. "What was Mommy?"

"Mommy…Mommy…told me not to tell. I can never tell. I'm not supposed to tell. She'll hurt me!" I cried, "CAN'T TELL! She'll..Sh-She'll hit me."

"You can tell me, Alice, you can trust me. Tell me, you can trust me."

I wanted to trust him. I wanted so badly to trust him.

"_ELIZABETH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ALICE?!" Mana cried. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. _

"_LET GO OF ME!" Mother screamed. I cowered in the shadows of my parents. _

"_You've been drinking." Father glanced at the bottle of whiskey on the counter. "You've been drinking!" He accused._

"_SO? What's your problem? What have you got to say? Huh? You're never around! You wouldn't care about what I did to her!" She grabbed my arm and slapped my hard across the face. "YOU STUPID, STUPID CHILD! HOW DARE YOU FORGET TO WASH THE DISHES!" _

"_No mommy! No! Maria washes them! I don't wash the-" I was slapped again. I could see Father desperately trying to stop Mother. _

"_DON'T BLAME OTHER PEOPLE!" Her mouth was so close to my face I could smell the alcohol in her breath. "MARIA IS GONE! THERE IS NO MARIA! YOU WASH THE DISHES! I DO SO MUCH FOR YOU ALL DAY! AND THIS IS WHAT I GE-" Father grabbed me and pulled me out of Mother's chokehold. _

"_Elizabeth. You have gone too far. I will never let you beat my child again! I-I'm making you leave this house!"_

_She looked up at him, her eyes glazed and glassy. "You wouldn't dare, what would that do to your reputation? Hm? You depend on me. You can't leave me." I was crying and my arm was bruised and my face was hurting. I was bleeding from when she had scratched my arm and my legs all over. But Mother was right, what would other people think when they heard the perfect couple Elizabeth and Mana, get divorced? What would they think? That would take a huge toll on their social life. They would get shunned by their parents, their peers. _

_Their peers._

_That's what mattered. "Mana, you're a fool and a wimp. You could never, never afford to lose me. You know that."_

_Suddenly I was watching this, I was watching me, getting beat, my Mother hitting me, metal spatula in one hand, and meat cleaver in another. I was frozen, I saw my seven year old self, covering from the fury of my Mother. What was my Mother. She wasn't my Mother, she was a woman I didn't know, and how did I cope with this woman? This crazy person? I wanted to scream at my younger self. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. _

"MOTHER NO!" I cried, I was wet, I was cold. My face was all wet and I was scared. Kanda burst into my room. "Alice are you okay?"

"S-she was hitting me, then I was watching then, oh no! I told! Don't hurt me Mother! Don't hurt me anymore! I liked you when you were nice!" I covered my eyes, screaming.

Kanda shook me, "Alice tell me what's wrong. Tell me!"

I looked at him, my eyes cleared. "K-Kanda, it's okay I'm fine. Really!"

"Are you sure?" He looked at me skeptically. I didn't know what to do so I leaned up and kissed him, it was soft and short.

"I'm sure."

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Um this one was kinda short to.

But I hope you guys like it!

~byrdie


	12. Chapter 12

If this story goes hiatus (it practically already is .___.) don't freak, finals are coming up for me…and yep. So just heads up about that.

Well, I know I always say this, but I'm sorry I haven't been on lately, busy busy busy. So I hope you enjoy this chapter of this oh-so-conspicuous/ cliché, story.

DISCLAIMER: you know…I don't own it.

WARNING: au Kanda….I"M WORKING ON IT! I SWEAR!

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_Are beds usually this hard? _My eyes were closed and I rolled around on to my side. _Wow, I feel like I'm sleeping on-_My eyes flew open, I looked around at my surroundings, I was in a cell. A jail cell! _What's going on?_ "Hello?" I called meekly. "Is anyone there?" I then heard footsteps and called out again. "I-I think there's been some sort of mistake! I'm innocent! I don't know why I'm here, I haven't done anything wrong!" I heard a girl's voice, then a man's. _Those voices_, I listened harder.

"Okay, okay! I know we can't keep her forever, but it's a good investment! It's for the company." The girl's voice said.

"Miss, what about the other male?"

"Oh, him, he'll be coming with me, right Kanda?"

_Kanda!_

"Yes Lenalee."

_So this is Lenalee's doing!_ "Kanda!" I cried. "Kanda! Can you hear me?" The footsteps grew louder, suddenly the door of my cell swung open, three people stood in the doorway. Lenalee, Kanda, and another man. "Kanda!" I gasped. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, Alice, I must go back to Japan."

"B-but-"

"You heard him, Freak. He doesn't like you." Lenalee sneered, she looped her arm around his and smiled up at him. "Come on darling, we've put our wedding off long enough."

I gaped. "Kanda! W-what about our wedding?" I cried. "W-what about M-mother and Father? What-"

"Listen, Ugly Girl, Kanda and I are getting married. We've been engaged for, god knows how long. You're just a fling, you don't matter."

Kanda's eyes remained stony and emotionless.

I ran my hand through my hair, "Oh, I see. Well then best of wishes for both of you, Lenalee and Kanda." I didn't look at either of them, fearing that I might start crying if I did. I was angry, yes, but sadness drowned out all other emotion. It was unbearable.

"Actually, I have an even better idea." Lenalee spoke, I looked up surprised. "Why don't we invite our little freak to our wedding? So she can watch her so called fiancée get married to the real bride." Lenalee sniggered. "Wouldn't that be kind of me, Kanda?"

"Yes it would." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, while I watched, my heart aching.

Lenalee smiled happily, "Let her out." She ordered the butler; he unlocked the door and opened it with a clank. "Come on Freak, I've known that this would happen all along. Kanda never would be able to find someone better than me." She laughed as Kanda draped an arm around her. I stared at the side of his face, etching his features into my mind. He really was perfect, or very close to it at least. Lenalee was perfect too; they were definitely a breathtaking match. Like a god and a goddess. Well I guess she's better for him than I am. I followed them out of the building and to the parking lot.

Lenalee turned around to look at me. "Kanda, should we let the Freak ride with us or should we let her ride by herself?"

Kanda then turned around as well. "Why don't we let her ride by herself, I want privacy with my love." He kissed the top of her head.

My heart lurched again, was he doing this to torment me? I bet so; I didn't know he was this cruel. Well I didn't think anyone could be cruel until now.

Lenalee giggled. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear, you're so sweet!" She and Kanda stepped into the first car. The butler ushered me into the one following it. There I let myself cry freely, even though the butler and the chauffeur were in the car with me. "Mister, why do you think they would do something so mean?" The butler didn't turn around, but answered my anyways. "Miss, they've loved each other since they've known each other. They have been engaged for over a year now. In my opinion it was quite rude for you to 'steal' her fiancée like that."

I burned; I didn't steal anyone's fiancée! It's all made up! I didn't even know about Lenalee until a bit ago. I crossed my arms and stared at the back of his head. His hair was really really, red.

Wait, red? I knew someone that had red hair! "Hey, mister, you're hair, it looks like-" The butler turned around. "Lavi! What are you doing here!"

He looked at me sheepishly. "Someone's gotta look after the little princess!"

"I'm not a little princess!"

"You're spoiled enough to be one."

I rolled my eyes. "But really, why are you here?"

"Well, we're gonna get Kanda back."

"What? We can't do that! They're getting married! I don't want to ruin Lenalee's wedding!"

"Why not? She ruined yours."

I was quiet for a minute. That's true, she did ruin mine. But I wasn't really one to hold grudges, I just let things go, because usually I could get whatever I wanted replaced. I knew I should be mad, or angry or something, but I wasn't, Lenalee loved Kanda. She really did, I'm sure of it. You could see it in here eyes how much she loved him, and it made me feel bad because I always thought that he didn't love her back. But now, seeing what had just happened, I wasn't so sure. He treated her different than he treated me, was that how they were supposed each other? I didn't know because I'd never been in love before. I guessed that I was in love with Kanda, but maybe not. I don't feel that bad right now. I just wanted them to be happy, even at the cost of my own happiness. This is odd, because like Lavi already said, I was a spoiled child.

Well there's a first for everything.

"Yes, but I would want them to be happy even at the cost of my own happiness." I finally said. "Isn't that what is should be like?"

Lavi stared at me. "No, you should fight for it!"

"But I don't want to fight."

"But I don't want Kanda to get married to some, I won't even say it. But you know what I mean right? You've met her! She's so controlling and you know."

I looked down, I did want to marry Kanda, did he want to marry me as well? I hadn't asked him, but when I asked him if he loved me, he said he did. I had blindly believed him, but was he lying?

"Don't worry Alice! It's going to be perfect! I already have it all planned out, you're going to the wedding right?"

I cringed. "Yes."

"Perfect! Kanda most likely is marrying Lenalee because of the financial benefits, mind you he's not poor, but it's a good idea. The Dark Order Trading Company is very powerful. They have many branches, as you probably know, the Asia branch is split into the China section, the Japan section, and other surrounding areas. All different areas of Asia produce different things. If the China and Japan sections merge, the biggest sections, it would be beneficial for both!"

I listened carefully. "Okay so? Wouldn't that be a good thing?"

"For the company, but not for Kanda, because he doesn't really love Lenalee."

"Yeah, but still. What do you want me to do?"

"Don't let him marry that girl!"

"You're not making any sense! I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"

We neared the airport, "Think about what you really want Alice. Do you want only Lenalee to be happy? Or do you want you and Kanda to be happy?"

Later that day I learned that the wedding would be two days after we arrived in Japan, I didn't think I would be able to think things over that quickly, but I would have to, it's the only way.

Her happiness? Or mine?

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Um… the whole company thing probably doesn't make much sense. So don't kill me, I was just typing and I don't really feel like going back over and re-doing it because it's late and finals are coming up and my brain is mush…so drop a review, I hope you liked the chapter!

NOTICE: FROM THIS CHAPTER ON, THE STORY IS ON HIATUS!!!!


	13. Chapter 13

I'm updating once again! I know it's been quite a while has it not?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DGM

WARNINGS: TYKI x fem! Allen!

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In the end, Alice never did chase after Kanda. During the time she was at the airport, she realized that she couldn't bear to steal someone away from someone else. They'd known each other for ages. Maybe Kanda was better off with Lenalee, Alice herself hardly knew the man. He could have been lying the whole time, she wouldn't know, he could put up a good act. Nor could she step on that plane and fly to her love's wedding to watch him get married to another woman.

She wasn't strong enough to do that.

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"_Lavi, I-I can't do it!" Alice cried as tears trickled down her cheeks. _

"_Alice! You have to!" Lavi said forcefully, grabbing her arm as she tried to turn away. "I can't watch my best friend get married to someone he doesn't love!" _

"_But he doesn't love me!"_

"_He does! With his whole heart! I swear it!"_

"_Lavi, I-I just can't! I can't watch him either!" She broke away from his grip. Strands of her hair clung to her damp cheeks as she ran from the terminal. She didn't care that people were yelling at her to watch out, or that the security guards were chasing her telling her that she couldn't go through the doors. _

"_ALICE!"_

_She ran all the way back to the front of the terminal, down the stairs and to where all the chauffeurs were waiting to pick up their riders. Her heart hurt, and she had run away again._

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It had been at least five or six years since that incident. Alice still remembered Kanda well, and hoped the best for the couple. Who she assumed to be happily married and have had children by now, she was still unmarried, but she had made a life for herself, not needing to depend on her parents any longer.

When she had gotten back from the air port, she went straight home to tell her parents. Mother apologized for what she had done and the entire trauma that she had caused her daughter and both her Mother and Father accepted her the way she was. This was a considerably good memory. She heard her door click open, suddenly started by the noise she quickly hid in her living room, behind a large arm chair.

"Alice!" A very familiar voice rang through the parlor.

Alice peeked inside, noticing a very peculiar head of fiery red hair. "Lavi!" She ran to him and gave him a great big hug. "What are you doing here? It's been ages since I last saw you!"

He hugged her back. "I know, I know. But I came to tell you something."

She pulled away from him. "What is it?"

"Something happened to the Kanda's, Yuu's wife in particular."

She sat him down. "Wait here, let me get you some tea. You can tell me then."

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Kanda leaned against a large marble pillar as he watched numerous couples sashay past him. He wasn't trying to be unsociable, it's just he never really liked these kinds of parties anyways. Never understood why people came to them in the first place. He didn't come here on his own accord, oh no. He had been tricked here, by a very crafty Cross Marian. The grooves in the marble were hurting his back, but it was much better than having to dance with one of those cake-make-up-wearing, tight laced, heavy perfumed women. They were not of his taste.

He noticed another one of those girls start to approach him. He'd already made eye contact; there was no running away now. So he just stood there and waited for her to come.

"Good evening sir, would you care for a dance?" She asked, standing much to close for comfort.

He wiggled out of the tight hole and away from the pillar and replied. "Tempting but no thank you." He bowed and started to walk the other way when she grabbed the back of his collar. Her grip was surprisingly strong, almost choking him.

"Mister, I know someone that would very much like to see you, if you would please follow me." He turned around and followed her tall wig to the other side of the ball room, where the stairs were located.

"Where are you taking me?" He asked grumpily, pulling his arm away from her iron grip.

"You'll see." She clacked up the stairs and waited for him to catch up.

There were many rooms upstairs, but only one had the door open, Kanda could smell cigarette smoke. He didn't like that smell, it irritated him, and how could someone smoke the stuff? Cigarettes slowly killed you. He would never touch one. He followed the girl inside the room, it was very badly lit, and there was smoke clouding the room. But he could still see the two figures lounging in large red armchairs.

Cross Marian and Tyki Mikk.

"There you are boy, I've wanted to talk to you about this for quite a while now." Tyki said silkily as he strode over to Kanda.

"Talk about what?" Kanda asked dumbly.

Marian stood up as well. "Thank you Eloise, you may go now." The girl bowed and retreated out of the room. "What happened to your wife, Kanda Yuu?"

Kanda stiffened. "She passed away in a car accident, did I not tell you?"

Tyki took in a long drag of the cigarette and blew the smoke in Kanda's face. "Did she really?"

"Yes she did," Kanda shifted his gaze from one person to the other. "What are you trying to get out of this?"

Marian sat back down. "You can handle this, Tyki can't you?"

"Yes Cross, We believe that your wife didn't die in a car accident."

"What are you talking about?" Kanda raised an eyebrow pretending to be unknowing.

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_Crash._

Alice's cut of tea tumbled onto the floor, leaving a mess of spilled tea and china.

"Lenalee's dead?" Alice gasped, surprised. "How?"

Lavi held the china tea cut gingerly in his hands, sipping the tea. "He told everyone that she died in a car accident. I can always tell when he's lying. I can always tell when anyone's lying. And he was definitely lying."

"That's horrible! How tragic!" She cried as she quickly went to wipe up the tea and sweep up the china.

"Not for him. I'm telling you, he murdered her." Lavi scratched his chin. "He never really liked her in the first place."

"Why are you telling me?" Alice asked after cleaning up the mess. "I haven't seen the man in ages. Why would that matter to me?"

"Well, I've always known that you loved him. And I thought that it would be nice for me to tell you." Lavi said, justified.

"I have no desire to take the place of his late wife anymore. I am now engaged to another man as well. Are you done with your tea?"

"Yes, thank you." Alice picked up the tea cups, brushing her hair back. "You've still got that scar and the arm I see. So the curse was never broken?"

"There is no curse. This is just the way I am. And the man I am now engaged to embraces me for that."

"I see, by the way who are you engaged to now?"

"A wonderful man named Tyki Mikk."

"Really?" Lavi raised a brow. _One of the executives of the rival trading company, Earl Trading._ Lavi thought to himself. "I happen to know him."

"Really? Isn't he wonderful?" She gushed happily.

"Yeah." Lavi trailed. _That would be a story to tell Kanda, he definitely would not be happy._

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"We know you set up your late spouse's murder." Tyki said.

Kanda froze. "What?"

Tyki sighed. "Do you think we're stupid? Might as well tell the truth."

Kanda looked down. _Shit they caught me._ "Okay fine. You got me, yes I did kill her. So what? Don't you have bigger things to deal with?"

"Oh well I was just wondering how Alice would take that when I tell her."

Kanda suddenly shot up. "Alice? Where is she!? I haven't seen her in years!"

"I see you're interested? But that's too bad, Alice is off limits." Tyki smashed the cigarette butt into an ashtray. "We're engaged."

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Threw a twist in it.

Drop a review?

~byrdie


	14. Chapter 14

I'm glad you all liked the chapter! I hope the twist wasn't to, surprising. Since there were so many reviewers in one night, I decided to update again!

^______^

So here you go!

((AN: I don't know if I'm confusing you guys with the time period or not, but the story is set in the 21st century, with its cell phone glory and all.))

DISCLAIMERS: I no own d gray man.

WARNINGS: Tyki/Allen, Kanda/Allen

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After Lavi had told Alice the news, he decided to leave. He was only there to deliver the information. "Well thank you for informing me Lavi, if you see Kanda anytime soon please tell him that I am sorry for the unfortunate loss of his wife."

Lavi nodded and bowed as he walked away from the little cottage. "I will be sure to, and good day to you to Miss Walker."

"Goodbye Lavi!" She called. Alice retreated back into her house. She couldn't believe the news. Kanda killed Lenalee? Why? Kanda had always been the civil type; he didn't seem like the kind of person that would kill someone he wasn't happy with. _I wonder if, if maybe he killed Lenalee for me? No that can't be possible, curse myself for thinking such silly thoughts! He didn't kill Lenalee! Kanda wouldn't, that's not the Kanda I know! _Alice shook her head as she cleaned off the dirty dishes. _That reminds me! Tyki's coming to visit today! Better get ready!_ She smiled at herself as she wiped off her hands after putting the last of the dishes away in the dishwasher.

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_I must go see Alice! _Kanda thought to himself as he heard of Tyki and Alice's engagement. "I see, you are engaged. Congratulations." He wished he could get angry and yell at Tyki for stealing his Fiancée, but she technically never was his fiancée. Tyki didn't steal anything from him. He simply got to Alice quicker than he had.

"That's all?" Tyki asked surprised.

"There's nothing left for me to say to you, Tyki Mikk. This conversation is over." Kanda looked down at the floor, as if he was suddenly very interested in the dark purple and blue weave of the carpet. He couldn't let the other man know of his distraught. That's probably what Tyki wanted to see anyways. He turned to start walking out the door when he was stopped by Tyki's voice.

"How very mature of you," Tyki's golden eyes glinted. "You're going to go visit her aren't you?"

Kanda froze. Of course he was going to visit her; he hadn't seen her in six fucking years! Was seeing her for one day that much of a sin? "No, of course not, don't get stupid ideas in your head; I haven't seen her in six years. By now she'd probably already forgotten about me." He lied.

"Good response. You may go." What power Tyki had over him! Kanda would go when he said to, and stay when he was told to. "And a good day to you too sir." Tyki said, a sly smile painted on his face.

Kanda rushed out of the large ball room, he had to go see Alice, and it'd been to long since they saw one another. Would she want to see him? She couldn't know about Lenalee could she? Unless Tyki told he, but he probably wouldn't. Thoughts rushed all through his head. He flagged a cab once he was outside the building. He didn't need his luggage, just his cell phone, he could buy a ticket off there. Kanda reached into his pocket and grabbed his 'Blackberry' phone. "Ah, piece of crap." He muttered as he waited for the brower to pop up. As soon as it did he went to the airline webpage and bought the ticket for the next flight to London. "Why didn't I just come here in the jet?" He asked himself as he waited for his car to come. Kanda watched a couple walk down the side walk, hand in hand, the woman leaning over to whisper something in the man's ear, and then the man, laughing, kisses her on the cheek.

_Why were we never like that?_

He kicked a pebble on the ground. The flight would be at about an hour after midnight. He would go visit Alice tomorrow sometime after noon. He wouldn't want to disturb her lunch would he?

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Alice was going to make a nice brunch since Tyki was coming at about lunch time. She stared out the window in her kitchen, the moon had risen well in the sky, and it had to be very late at night about now. She had finished cleaning up the house so it was spotless for his arrival. She had just received a call from Tyki, in fact, telling her that he would be there sometime before noon. When she asked him how the business trip went he told her that he had run in to an old friend of hers.

"An old friend?" Alice mused. "And who might that be?" She couldn't remember having any old friends that Tyki might see.

"I'll tell you about it when I get there tomorrow, alright?" She could hear him smiling in through the phone.

"Come on! You know I hate suprises! Tell me!" She pouted.

"It's late, love, shouldn't you be asleep by now?"

"I was waiting for you to call, don't change the subject!"

"Go to sleep, I'll be there tomorrow, you don't want to be all tired and grumpy when I come to visit do you?"

Alice puffed up her cheeks, Tyki was difficult sometimes! "Fine, love you."

"I love you to, dear."

Alice put the phone down and glanced at the clock, it was late almost midnight in fact. She still needed to shower and change for tomorrow. Before going to her room, she checked off another day on her calendar. There was only two months before the wedding! Everything was near perfect, the dress had been made, the flowers ordered, the cards sent, church and hotel reserved. Chances are paparazzi would come and want to take pictures of this wedding. Tyki made sure to have the windows tinted for that as well. The wedding wasn't going to be big, okay, yes it was. But it wasn't going to be _that_ big. Only a few hundred people were coming. Okay maybe that is kind of big. Alice couldn't help being nervous, what if she suddenly, before the wedding, changed her mind and didn't love Tyki anymore?

She couldn't fathom that. She would have none of it.

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Kanda sat uncomfortably on the plane. It was a good thing the flight was only a few hours long, he would arrive in London in about an hour and a half, since there was a bit of delay. It was a bit of late notice but he could always just stay in the vacation home. No one was there anyways; the Kanda's only used it for hosting large parties. The flight seemed to last just about forever, everyone around him was asleep, he could hear the soft snoring of the people surrounding him. He wasn't used to these public transportation kinds of things. He didn't want to look disheveled when he visited Alice, so he contacted the house keeper at the vacation home to have a change of clothes ready for him when he arrived, as well as a car to pick him up from the airport. He informed the hotel that he was staying at in Paris that he had already left, and that he would need his baggage shipped and that they could just send him a bill with the luggage.

He didn't need that clothes anyways, he had plenty of suits just like the ones he had abandoned.

When he arrived in London everything was set, the car was there and when he reached the vacation home, the spare clothes were there as well. He thanked the chauffeur and the house keeper and went to sleep in the clothes he arrived in. He could change later in the morning.

But right now he was dead tired.

So he slept.

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I didn't like this one very much…I hope you enjoyed the chapter more than I did!

:D

Drop a review?

~byrdie


	15. Chapter 15

Hey sorry guys for not updating, I've been out and about lately so I haven't had time to update.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own D gray man.

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The next morning when Kanda awoke from his slumber, he found his clothing rumpled and his hair in a very unattractive knot. He had never needed to brush his hair before, most of the time it was just untangled by itself. He didn't have to worry about trivial things like how messy his hair looked. His hair never was messy. Plus he was never really concerned with his outward appearance. He knew he looked gorgeous all the time; he didn't need to blind people with his beauty.

But today was different; he needed to change someone's mind. Alice's mind to be exact. He couldn't have her marrying that deceitful Tyki Mikk character. The very thought of him made Kanda shudder. Tyki was nice, at first. He was as sly as a fox, and would do anything to take advantage of anyone.

Especially someone like Alice.

Kanda grimaced at the thought Tyki probably thought making Alice fall in love with him was like taking candy from a baby. She no longer lived with her parents so she didn't have to worry about her Mother breathing down her neck all the time. Kanda didn't think Tyki was an arranged marriage either. Alice had freedom now. She wasn't the girl he'd know all those years before, she'd probably changed.

For better or for worse he didn't know. But it didn't really matter, what did matter was that they would see each other again. He didn't know what kind of effect it would have on her, but he hoped it would be one that would make her fall in love with him all over again. To make her realize her mistake and come back to him.

That's what he hoped anyways, but nothing ever works out the way you want them to. Even if he was the most beautiful creature to roam the earth what good would it do if he couldn't even get the person he loved most to re-fall-in-love with him?

He spent the rest of the morning brushing his hair and changing into more suitable clothing. For once in his life cared about what he looked like. And for the first time in his life he had competition.

Today was just a day of first's wasn't it?

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Alice awoke to the sound of someone talking on the phone, at first she was frightened. She thought that someone may have broken into her house and was in the process of robbing her. She rubbed her eyes and listened, the voice was familiar.

It was Tyki!

She burst out of her room. "Tyki! You're early!"

He turned around surprised, "Oh, you're awake." He quickly said goodbye to whomever it was he was talking to on the phone. A smile stretched across his face. "Alice, my sweet, it's been quite a while since we last saw each other hasn't it?"

She pouted. "That wouldn't be the case if you could have stopped agreeing to keep prolonging your trips."

"You know how important the trips are. Let's be reasonable." He wrapped his long arms around her and held her close to him. "How have you been without me?"

"Who did you see recently that I used to know?" She asked him, straight to the point.

"Oh, Alice, direct as usual."

"Tyki," Alice whined. "Just tell me."

"Oh, all right, well you see recently I ran into an old friend of yours. Actually you might not consider him a friend." His voice trailed. "But anyways, I was at a party, see? And I heard he was there so well it would only be nice of me to say hello, right?"

Alice nodded.

"Well he definitely was not happy to see me. And when I told him of our engagement, why, he was furious."

Alice cut Tyki off. "Wait, _he_? You're talking about a _he_? Are you sure I knew this person? That it wasn't a mistake or anything?" She looked skeptical. Alice had never known that many men. She'd met plenty of them, but none of them really got to know her, at least enough to be upset about her engagement with Tyki.

"Oh, no mistake, I'm sure you know a certain Kanda Yuu?" Tyki asked, his lips curled into a sly smile.

Alice froze. "Kanda? Kanda Yuu?" Memories flooded her brain. "You saw him? Where is he? God, I haven't seen him in…years!" She stuttered. This wasn't the right reaction for a woman that was engaged. But she was surprised; here was a man that she loved so much who just, disappeared from her life. And now he's back, well not really, but she knew he was alive and Tyki had talked to him, and she had heard about his wife and all these things about Kanda!

It's like he came back from the dead. All these years….and now he's back!

"Does he remember me? Wait of course he does! Why am I getting all flustered?!" She felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest, her face was warm and she was getting a bit light headed. "Forgive me Tyki, this is awfully selfish of me to ask, but do you know where he is? Oh, please understand, we were such good friends!"

Tyki laughed. "Oh, Alice, I knew this is what kind of reaction you would come to. And I'm sorry to say I do not know where he is, we only talked for a short while. I didn't get much information out of him. I already knew about his wife though. Poor darling. It's quite unfortunate how she had to go."

"Yes, yes, I heard about that as well." She was silent for a minute. "Tyki, don't get the wrong idea, I have no doubts that I love you more than Kanda."

Tyki laughed his musical laugh again. "Of course not, I know that. What makes you think I don't think you love me?"

"You looked sad when I asked about Kanda. Oh, please forgive me! I just haven't seen him in such a long while! It only makes sense to ask about an old friend." Alice chewed her lip. "I'm sorry, and today was supposed to be a nice day. I even forgot to make the brunch." She sighed.

Tyki stiffened upon hearing that Alice would have been cooking for him. It was nice of her to want to cook, but her cooking was deadly. It was lethal, like poison, it was poison. The last time he had her cooking he was in the hospital for weeks! He'll never eat lasagna ever again. He watched her glance at the clock hanging upon the wall. "Well its still kind of early. I think I have time to make something…"

Tyki spoke quickly. "I thought maybe you'd like to go out to eat. On my way here I saw this lovely little bistro that I thought you might like. If I remember right you're very fond of Hungarian food?"

"But I wanted to make you a nice home made meal." Alice looked down. "But if you really want to go out to eat instead…" Her voice trailed. "Then I guess we can." Tyki was very aware of the fact that she was trying to guilt him into eating her cooking. But he had built up some sort of immunity to her cute little faces that she made when she was trying to get her way.

Tyki tackled Alice to the floor and started tickling her, she was shrieking with laugher. "Stop it!" She laughed. "Stop!"

"No! Never!" Tyki laughed with her. Just then, the door bell rang. Tyki stopped what he was doing and stood up, his face full of suspicion. "I wonder who that could be."

"I'll get it," Alice dusted off her night gown and walked to the door, Tyki following close behind her. Alice could see the figure of a man though the textured glass door. Her heart started to accelerate. Could it be? Could it be who she's been looking for for the past six years? Could it be him?

She unlocked the door, Tyki noticed that her fingers were trembling. "My dear," He said, laying his hands atop hers. "Are you alright?" He knew very well just who was behind that door. He knew what would happen when she saw the man behind that glass door.

Alice gulped, and opened the door. Standing there, in all of his Japanese self glory, his long hair tied neatly in a pony tail. He was smoking a cigarette, wearing a sleek black suit. His shoes polished.

Standing there, six years later.

Was Kanda yuu.

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Blah, this was a crap chapter.

I hope you guys don't cry from the crappyness of it all.

:/

Flames welcome…if that's what you do.

~byrdie.


	16. Chapter 16

Alice Walker: Loveless

Disclaimers: I don't own.

AN: woah, hey guys, I haven't updated in a little less than a year, so consider this my early Christmas present to you guys! I'm updating wooo, yeahhhh. Anyway I'm really sorry that I haven't updated earlier, since that's pretty pathetic. I'm sure you don't want to read my lame rambling anymore so without further ado….

Alice Walker

Alice stared at the person in the doorway. She was shocked beyond disbelief. Tyki's grip on her shoulder tightened, then loosened, he finally broke the silence.

"My, what a lovely surprise!" Tyki chirped. "Please, don't hesitate to come inside!" Alice stared at the man she hadn't seen in many years. The years didn't seem to have any effect on him. When Alice realized that Kanda saw that she was staring, she quickly averted her gaze to the floor mat.

"Come on Alice, be more welcoming to our quest!" Tyki patted Alice on the head, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. "Well," Tyki looked at Kanda with knowing eyes. "Come on it, it is quite cold outside. We don't want all the heat of the house to run out do we?"

Kanda stepped in; his eyes were full of hurt and betrayal. How could Alice already have moved on?

"Alice, would you mind getting some tea ready for our guest?" Alice nodded, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible and think through her thoughts before she did something stupid. She also needed to change since she was still clad in her nightgown. She took the liberty to set the kettle on the stove and watch the blue orange flames flicker for a few seconds before heading to her bedroom. She clutched her beating heart, trying with no avail to calm herself down. _It's just Kanda_, she told herself, _nothing to get all flustered about. But he's so…he hasn't changed one bit. He looks exactly the same. Damn him for coming back. I can't accept him, its too late, I have Tyki now. So why do I feel so uncertain? _

Kanda had followed Tyki into the parlor as Alice hurried into the kitchen. "Well," Tyki folded his arms across his chest, "Well, well, well, what do we have here? I thought I warned you not to come. I knew you just couldn't resist seeing your little dear." He smiled like a snake.

"Shut the fuck up." Kanda hissed. "I had to see her. I've been looking for her for ages. When you said you two were..." Kanda cringed, "engaged. I thought you were just fooling me, but it seems that you weren't."

"Honey, would I ever lie to you?" Tyki gestured for Kanda to sit down. "Actually, don't answer that, I would lie to you. Not about these sorts of things though." Kanda sat. "She knows about the 'tragic' death of your wife." Tyki added, looking up to see if there would be any change in emotion. Kanda looked away. "Keep up your secret Kanda, fine. But what do you think is going to happen when it gets loose? Hm? What's going to happen then?"

"It's none of your damn concern, Mikk. I know you want me to do a merger with your company, and for the last time, Black Order is not for sale."

"You're no fun, Kanda." Tyki gingerly fingered a box of cigars. "Smoke? They're Cuban." Kanda shook his head 'no'. "But what about when Alice finds out that you killed her, hm? That would just kill her poor heart. She thinks highly of you, you know." Tyki lit the cigar and sucked in the malicious odors before expelling them from his lips with a sigh. "But really Kanda, why _are_ you here? You can't possibly expect me to believe that you're here simply to _see_ her." Tyki tapped the ashes from the end of his cigar into the ashtray. "I believe you're here to do more than just that."

Just then, Alice walked in. Tray of tea and butter cookies in her hands and dressed. She put on a cheery face for Kanda and Tyki. "Here's the tea. It's Jasmine, just for you dear." She nodded towards Kanda. Then sat down close to Tyki and looked at Kanda. "What brings you to our humble abode?"

If words were visible, Kanda would personally stab 'our' to death.

Kanda flicked his hair for effect before speaking. "I just wanted to visit my former _fiancée_." He emphasized the last word. "Is there a problem?"

Alice flinched. She got it. He wanted revenge for Tyki. If he wanted to fight, fine, she'll fight. "Oh, well," She draped an arm lovingly across Tyki and started into his deep golden eyes. "Your _ex_-fiancée is doing perfectly fine and dandy." She snaked her hand to the back of his neck as Tyki coiled his around her waist. He kissed her. It was a playful, short, nothing kind of kiss. But he still kissed Alice right in front of Kanda.

Kanda mentally sliced that damned man in two.

"You're dirty love! Not in front of our guest!" Alice swatted Tyki's hand away to prevent it from traveling any further down her back. Tyki got up chuckling, "Alice dear, I think I'll leave you two for a moment, I'm going to head to the bistro I wast talking about earlier and pick up some lunch for us." He smiled at her warmly. Alice didn't want him to leave. How would she talk to him by herself? She looked at him pleadingly, Tyki pecked heron the forehead and swished away.

Uneasy silence blanketed the parlor once Tyki left, Alice unconsciously stroked the armchair. Waiting for one of them to break the silence, Kanda stared at her, his eyes screaming 'bitch! You betrayed me!' She flicked her eyes elsewhere. Since she realized Kanda didn't want to take the initiative, she did.

"What did you expect?" She quietly whispered, trying to keep her voice from quivering.

"What?"

"What did you expect?" She asked a little louder. Alice looked straight past Kanda at the door.

"What do you mean?" Kanda eyed her, her hair had grown a little longer, but other than that she still looked like the girl he'd met years ago.

"Did you expect some sort of star crossed reunion? Did you expect me to see you and fall into your arms crying? Did you expect me to run to you like a lover?" Her voice progressively got louder. "Did you expect me to kiss you and hug you and drink up your presence like, like a woman _deprived_ of love?" She was screaming now. "What did you expect?"

"I though," Kanda clenched his jaw. "I thought you'd wait for me. You'd fucking wait for me."

She gave an exasperated sigh. "My god Kanda, you haven't changed a bit, you're still selfish as ever. I should remind you that you were the one that left me. You were the one that married away, not me. Why would I waste my life over someone who had obviously already moved on and," she narrowed her eyes at him, "For god's sake, was already married?" She sipped her tea. He looked at his shoes. "You think I didn't wait for you? I waited, I waited for years. I did wait for you like a naïve little girl, hoping that you'd come back."

"What happened?" Kanda asked her, his voice begging for her to come back.

"I grew up." She spat. "I woke up one day and some part of me just, I dunno. I realized that there are plenty of fish in the sea. So I went out and got engaged to Tyki. We've been engaged ever since." She held out her hand for him to see the large stone that adorned her finger. "It's been ten months."

Kanda looked at her, his stomach turning knots. "How long have you two been," he gulped down his sick, "together?"

She placed her hand on her lap. Looking up thoughtfully, she replied. "We've been together…about a year, counting the engagement."

"That fast, huh."

"Not as fast as-" Alice caught her word vomit before it could spill out of her mouth.

"Not as fast as what?" Kanda stood up and sad close to her, she didn't resist. "Not as fast as us?"

She turned to look at him; he was a wound she didn't want to reopen. He placed a hand on her cheek, she didn't try to stop him.

He bent down and kissed her.

"I missed you." He whispered into her mouth.

Alice relaxed into the kiss, but then her logical self started to kick in. She pushed him away.

"What the _fuck _are you doing?" She hissed. "I'm engaged. I'm fucking engaged! You had so many years to come back and you choose now? Don't fuck with me you bastard! You had your chance! You forgo your chance and come now?" She slapped him hard across the face.

Kanda had never seen her so angry. He touched the place she had slapped. "Alice-"

"Stop, j-just go, get the fuck out of here, I don't love you anymore. I love Tyki, what part of that don't you understand?" She started to cry. Kanda went to hold her, she slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me damn it! Get out of here," He looked at her, confusion lacing his eyes. "What don't you get about get out? Get out of my fucking house! And don't you dare ever, ever come back!" She shrieked and pushed him out of the door.

She was about to slam it closed when he shoved his foot in the rapidly closing gap. "Shit, I came all the way here from fucking _Japan_ and this is the thanks I get? This isn't the Alice I fell in love with. This isn't the Alice I wanted to see." He shot her rays of hatred.

"Maybe the Alice you wanted to see isn't here anymore, she grew up. Maybe I never wanted you to come see me!"

Kanda cursed under his breath. "I never thought I'd say this, but fuck you."

Alice's eyes widened.

"You've become a straight up bitch. Fuck you and fuck your damn fiancée." Kanda turned his heel and left Alice in the cloud that was his anger.

Alice Walker

AN: Done! I kinda liked this chapter; I hope you guys do too! I wonder how Alice will feel about this later. Heeheee.

Drop a review?

~byrdie.


	17. Sad ending

Alice Walker: Loveless

AN: Hey guys! I realize it has been a very long time since I have updated, so the people that had read the story aren't reading it any more!

Anyways, please enjoy the chapter!

Alice Walker

When Tyki returned home, take out bag in his hand, he came home to a very unhappy fiancée. "My dear! What's wrong?" He strode to Alice's side. Alice was sitting on the floor in the foyer. Her face was tear-streaked and her dress was messy with wet stains. She sniffed. "Kanda hates me."

Tyki raised in eyebrow in surprise. Her flat statement sent a tinge of jealousy though his veins. "Oh, dear, I'm sure he doesn't." She sobbed. "B-but he d-does. H-he said. Damn it! I-I finally get a c-chance, a-and I s-screw up!" She pounded her fists on the ground angrily. He sympathized with her, caressing her hair as she cried on the floor. Mumbling "its okay" every now and then into her hair and stroking her cheek gently. But his goodwill was over looked. Only one name was dutifully chanted with woe. Kanda.

Kanda.

Kanda.

Tyki grimaced and held the angry little girl close. She cried loudly into his clean, primly pressed dress shirt. Her sorrow radiated off her person like poison. He could feel his anger bubbling, this was all for that other man. He could feel the tears beginning to crawl fiber by fiber onto his skin. It was taunting him. He was being pushed aside like a third wheel. It felt like everything was suddenly too slow. She became so loud. She was so prominent.

She was there, in the middle of a blur there she was. Crying.

But not for him.

No tears were shed for Tyki.

They were all for that damned Japanese.

That god damned man.

Why for him? Why not for me?

Why not for me?

**Why not for me?**

Tyki clutched the girl tightly.

"Tyki, Tyki, I can't, can't breath." Alice struggled.

"Why, Alice, tell me, why do you cry for him? Why don't you cry for me? Why don't you show this emotion for me?" He pushed her so she faced him, his hands gripping her shoulders in a vice grip. Not letting her escape his predatory glare. "Don't I treat you well? Don't I give you everything you want? Pretty dresses? Aren't I nice to you?"

Alice trembled. She had never seen Tyki this. His eyes were crazy. This wasn't Tyki.

She stared at him like a scared little deer in the headlights.

"Answer me!"

She stared completely silent.

"Answer me god damnit!" He shook her violent.

She looked away.

"You can't get anything better than this! I'm the best that you'll ever have! Don't you see?" Tyki cried manically. "You can't do any better than me!"

A bit of saliva dribbled from Alice's lips from being shaken so. "Don't Tyki don't, please, stop."

"Stop what?" He slapped her hard across the face. "How dare you feel that way toward another man. How dare you! We're going to get married soon and you're going off having feelings for another man." The volume of his voice got quieter and quieter. "That, that simply will not do."

He felt his anger boil out to a small hard lump of jealousy and rage, a tightly compressed ball of feelings, just waiting to be released. Alice's eyes reflected fear. This simply made his blood boil.

"Tyki, you're not yourself right now! Calm down!" Alice and Tyki both knew about his personality issue. She tried to squirm away from the hands on her shoulders, but his grip would not falter. "Remember who you are! You're not the one that wants to hurt anyone. You don't want to hurt me!"

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong Alice. I do." He dragged her by her feet to their bedroom. "I could always tell you were reluctant to marry me. Even when we first met, you weren't really into the idea. I knew you had someone on your mind, I just didn't know who. Now I know."

Alice whimpered as she was thrown onto the bed and tied down.

"I could hardly sleep whenever I was home, you're crying and kicking at night made that impossible. Didn't you wonder why I was never home? You cried and screamed in your sleep." Tyki tightened his knots expertly.

"Tyki! Darling, please, you're not right in the mind right now. Please just let me go!" Alice pleaded and cried.

"I'm very right in the mind right now." He opened the drawer next to the night stand and pulled out a small colt revolver. The metal barrel glinted in the dim lamp light. He sniggered. "And I know now. I know now who I need to kill."

"Tyki, please stop this! You don't know what you're talking about, don't let the dark side of you win! Don't let it!"

Tyki turned his heel to face her, his breath close to her face. "Listen, I know exactly what I want. You caused this, Alice, don't you see? You caused this." He said gripping her face, leaving small bruises along her jaw. He huffed and stormed out of the house; leaving Alice tied in the bedroom.

Kanda had left the little cottage feeling like crap. Now he felt even worse. How could he have said such things to that poor Alice? He knew she loved him. Maybe he really was just being all too selfish.

But it's too late now. She already hates me, Kanda thought to himself. I can't do anything about this anymore.

He called a servant to his room to bring him more alcohol. It was awful and the taste was bitter, but he didn't know what else to do.

His pride simply would not let him go back and apologize to her.

"Fuck." He stumbled around his chamber, clumsily knocking things over. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

He over turned the small table in his room. The glass crashed against the wood floor boards. Flower petals and crystal from the vase of flowers scattered upon the floor. He kicked the pieces around, not caring that they were lacerating the bottom of his foot.

He took another sip of brandy.

Frustrated, he knocked down his bookshelves. He relished the feeling of destroying something.

He couldn't stand the prim and properness of his room any longer. He had to make it look like he felt.

And he felt like crap.

He called a maid on the intercom in his home. "Shirley, could you bring my blade and some dummies into the practice room?" He heard the crackle of the old intercom system and a quick reply of "Yes young master" and headed to the practice room.

He didn't even bother to slide open the paper doors, rather deciding the punch down the paper and wood.

His maid looked at him, dumbfounded, "Here are the things you have requested, Young master." She presented him his katana and quickly set up the straw dummies. Kanda didn't change into proper attire; he went at the dummies in his suit. Not caring that it was stiff and uncomfortable.

He slashed and cut his anger away.

When he heard his doorbell being rung, and the intercom speak. "Young master, you are requested at the foyer."

Who else could be requested? Kanda thought, no one else is here.

He carried his unsheathed katana with him down the stairs, glaring at the maids that hurried to clean his trashed room.

Kanda slowly descended down the stairs. He looked up from his feet and saw Tyki.

"What do you want Mikk?"

The Portuguese man smirked coyly, "why, Kanda, you say that as if you're not happy to see me."

"I sure as hell am not." He shifted his weight on his other leg. "What do you want?"

He tapped the hilt of his blade with his fingers.

"What do I want?" He man slid his hand into his coat. "I want," he pulled it out slow, the silver barrel shining; "I want you to die."

In a flash, the gun was pointed at Kanda's head. The blade pressed right at Tyki's neck.

Alice struggled with the knots; she had managed the free one of her arms. She picked at the other in vain. She growled frantically. She had to get free, she had to save Kanda!

Tyki's dark side had taken over, he wouldn't mind killing someone. He wouldn't even feel a thing. Tyki's dark side was a scary thing, it was completely emotionless. It had only the intent of killing and torturing. She had encountered it once before, and it had almost killed her. She couldn't let Tyki do anything stupid.

She had to make sure both of them could be safe.

After struggling for a little bit, she laid back down, defeated. She chewed angrily at her lip and remembered the awful earrings that someone had given her as a gift once; they were as sharp as knives! The sun patterns rays cut her skin the only time she wore them, and never wore them after that. But her earring stand was on the other side of the room. She could move freely about, but her movement was very limited as her other arm was still tied to the bed.

The earring stand taunted her as she reached and reached for it.

Alice grumbled in frustration. The only thing she could do was move the bed. It was a king sized mahogany bed with a tree shaped canopy, it would be hard to move, but she could do it.

She pulled with all of her strength. The bed strained.

She pulled again, cursing the carpeted floor. It moved a little bit.

So it was, bit by bit that she moved the bed until she was close enough.

Her hair pressed to her face from the sweat and her arms hurt from all the rigorous pulling. She reached for an earring and quickly ran it back and forth against the rough polyester rope.

Snap

Snap

Snap.

When the fibers finally snapped free, she quickly ran out of the house. Please don't do anything stupid, Tyki. She begged in her mind as she hailed a taxi. She had been to Kanda's home before, she remembered.

"Mister, please, just follow my directions."

Kanda's hands sweated, the katana was cutting ever so slightly into Tyki's dark skin. He could feel the circular opening of the gun pressed onto his forehead. The two were frozen in a tie.

"Why did you stop?" Tyki questioned. "I could kill you right now."

"Why did you?" He pressed it harder into Tyki's neck. He felt the Portuguese tremble. "You're terrified."

"Ha, please. Don't belittle me." Kanda could see his finger itching to pull the trigger. Tyki slowly, slowly pulled the trigger down. So slow he could feel the resistance.

**Bang. **

"Mister, please can't you go faster?" She cried.

"Lady! It's blocked, ya blind?"

She threw some money at him, she was close enough anyways, she could run there. The cab yelled something at her about her change as she slammed the door shut and bolted through the traffic. The air was thick with moisture and heat as she pushed her way through the cars.

The forest gate was so close.

She remembered exactly.

The gate was open.

He was here already.

She pushed her legs to run faster to get to the house faster. There was light in the windows. The door was slightly ajar.

She heard it.

**Bang. **

Alice slammed the door open, there in front of her they were.

The blood stained the floor.

Stained the white and black tiles, they would be sticky soon.

The tiles will be crusty and sticky with the thick red blood of men.

She stared in shock and walked closer, red tendrils crawling up the hem of her dress. Her eyes were open as wide as they could. She couldn't believe what she saw.

This is a dream.

This is a dream.

This is a dream.

On the floor, the two men lay. Tyki's head mostly disconnected from his body. There was only just a thin piece of skin holding it together. His spine was visible and white and bones. His throat muscles and organs were still warm and pulsing. In his hand, was the colt revolver. Tyki's eyes were wide open.

Shock.

His face animated with anger. Frozen in the moment.

But he was dead.

On the floor, opposite of him, lay the Kanda Yuu. A single round hole in his forehead told his fate. His hair splayed around him, his hand still clutched his katana. His eyes were squeezed closed.

Red.

Alice rushed to Kanda's body. "Kanda, Kanda, Kanda. Oh," She placed her hand on his face. It was still warm. Just like he if were alive, only pretending to be dead. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you so so much, why?" She lay her lips on his, warm ones on rapidly cooling ones. Alice didn't care that her dress was getting dirty. She caressed his face. "Why does our love have to end this way?"

She looked at Tyki not far away. "Tyki, why did you have to do this?"

She bit back her tears and stared at the revolver in his hand. "Why? Why did you have to make me choose? Why God?"

She gingerly pried the katana from Kanda's rigid fingers. "I read so many books when you were gone." She said to him. "So many love stories of happily ever afters. So many happy endings. Why do they get their happy endings?"

She reached over to Tyki and slid his eye lids closed. It only felt like the right thing to do. She held the blade in front of her and kissed the katana like it was Kanda. The cold metal made her shiver. Alice looked at the black haired man and caressed his pale cheek one last time. She memorized his long eyelashes and his ethereal features.

Alice drove the smooth knife into her chest.

"_Hey baKanda."_

"_What do you want, moyashi?"_

"_If we were to get married, would you die for me?" Alice placed her finger as a bookmark between the pages of her book. She looked at the man expectantly._

"_What kind of stupid question is that?"_

"_It's just a question baKanda!" Her eye twitched in annoyance. "But seriously, answer me."_

_Kanda looked up thoughtfully. "What? You planning on dying sometime soon?" She huffed. "That better never happen, idiot, because I don't know how a moyashi like you could live without me."_

"_Stupid Kanda!"_

"_Who're you calling stupid, stupid! You asked me the question!"_

_Alice blushed behind the pages of her book as she watched Kanda grumble and continue to read his book._

"_Hey baKanda."_

"_What moyashi?"_

"_Let's be like this forever okay, baKanda?"_

"_Okay idiot moyashi."_

Whew. Done!

Thank you to all of my faithful readers for sticking around until the end! Your reviews and favorites and watches have certainly kept the story going. I hope you enjoyed the story and happy Valentines Day!

~byrdie


	18. Happy ending

Alice Walker: Loveless

AN: After receiving a few unhappy review from you guys, I decided what the hell, I'll write another ending. Most of it is the same, just the very end since many of you wanted a happier ending. Enjoy the happy ending!

Alice Walker

When Tyki returned home, take out bag in his hand, he came home to a very unhappy fiancée. "My dear! What's wrong?" He strode to Alice's side. Alice was sitting on the floor in the foyer. Her face was tear-streaked and her dress was messy with wet stains. She sniffed. "Kanda hates me."

Tyki raised in eyebrow in surprise. Her flat statement sent a tinge of jealousy though his veins. "Oh, dear, I'm sure he doesn't." She sobbed. "B-but he d-does. H-he said. Damn it! I-I finally get a c-chance, a-and I s-screw up!" She pounded her fists on the ground angrily. He sympathized with her, caressing her hair as she cried on the floor. Mumbling "its okay" every now and then into her hair and stroking her cheek gently. But his goodwill was over looked. Only one name was dutifully chanted with woe. Kanda.

Kanda.

Kanda.

Tyki grimaced and held the angry little girl close. She cried loudly into his clean, primly pressed dress shirt. Her sorrow radiated off her person like poison. He could feel his anger bubbling, this was all for that other man. He could feel the tears beginning to crawl fiber by fiber onto his skin. It was taunting him. He was being pushed aside like a third wheel. It felt like everything was suddenly too slow. She became so loud. She was so prominent.

She was there, in the middle of a blur there she was. Crying.

But not for him.

No tears were shed for Tyki.

They were all for that damned Japanese.

That god damned man.

Why for him? Why not for me?

Why not for me?

**Why not for me?**

Tyki clutched the girl tightly.

"Tyki, Tyki, I can't, can't breath." Alice struggled.

"Why, Alice, tell me, why do you cry for him? Why don't you cry for me? Why don't you show this emotion for me?" He pushed her so she faced him, his hands gripping her shoulders in a vice grip. Not letting her escape his predatory glare. "Don't I treat you well? Don't I give you everything you want? Pretty dresses? Aren't I nice to you?"

Alice trembled. She had never seen Tyki this. His eyes were crazy. This wasn't Tyki.

She stared at him like a scared little deer in the headlights.

"Answer me!"

She stared completely silent.

"Answer me god damnit!" He shook her violent.

She looked away.

"You can't get anything better than this! I'm the best that you'll ever have! Don't you see?" Tyki cried manically. "You can't do any better than me!"

A bit of saliva dribbled from Alice's lips from being shaken so. "Don't Tyki don't, please, stop."

"Stop what?" He slapped her hard across the face. "How dare you feel that way toward another man. How dare you! We're going to get married soon and you're going off having feelings for another man." The volume of his voice got quieter and quieter. "That, that simply will not do."

He felt his anger boil out to a small hard lump of jealousy and rage, a tightly compressed ball of feelings, just waiting to be released. Alice's eyes reflected fear. This simply made his blood boil.

"Tyki, you're not yourself right now! Calm down!" Alice and Tyki both knew about his personality issue. She tried to squirm away from the hands on her shoulders, but his grip would not falter. "Remember who you are! You're not the one that wants to hurt anyone. You don't want to hurt me!"

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong Alice. I do." He dragged her by her feet to their bedroom. "I could always tell you were reluctant to marry me. Even when we first met, you weren't really into the idea. I knew you had someone on your mind, I just didn't know who. Now I know."

Alice whimpered as she was thrown onto the bed and tied down.

"I could hardly sleep whenever I was home, you're crying and kicking at night made that impossible. Didn't you wonder why I was never home? You cried and screamed in your sleep." Tyki tightened his knots expertly.

"Tyki! Darling, please, you're not right in the mind right now. Please just let me go!" Alice pleaded and cried.

"I'm very right in the mind right now." He opened the drawer next to the night stand and pulled out a small colt revolver. The metal barrel glinted in the dim lamp light. He sniggered. "And I know now. I know now who I need to kill."

"Tyki, please stop this! You don't know what you're talking about, don't let the dark side of you win! Don't let it!"

Tyki turned his heel to face her, his breath close to her face. "Listen, I know exactly what I want. You caused this, Alice, don't you see? You caused this." He said gripping her face, leaving small bruises along her jaw. He huffed and stormed out of the house; leaving Alice tied in the bedroom.

Kanda had left the little cottage feeling like crap. Now he felt even worse. How could he have said such things to that poor Alice? He knew she loved him. Maybe he really was just being all too selfish.

But it's too late now. She already hates me, Kanda thought to himself. I can't do anything about this anymore.

He called a servant to his room to bring him more alcohol. It was awful and the taste was bitter, but he didn't know what else to do.

His pride simply would not let him go back and apologize to her.

"Fuck." He stumbled around his chamber, clumsily knocking things over. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

He over turned the small table in his room. The glass crashed against the wood floor boards. Flower petals and crystal from the vase of flowers scattered upon the floor. He kicked the pieces around, not caring that they were lacerating the bottom of his foot.

He took another sip of brandy.

Frustrated, he knocked down his bookshelves. He relished the feeling of destroying something.

He couldn't stand the prim and properness of his room any longer. He had to make it look like he felt.

And he felt like crap.

He called a maid on the intercom in his home. "Shirley, could you bring my blade and some dummies into the practice room?" He heard the crackle of the old intercom system and a quick reply of "Yes young master" and headed to the practice room.

He didn't even bother to slide open the paper doors, rather deciding the punch down the paper and wood.

His maid looked at him, dumbfounded, "Here are the things you have requested, Young master." She presented him his katana and quickly set up the straw dummies. Kanda didn't change into proper attire; he went at the dummies in his suit. Not caring that it was stiff and uncomfortable.

He slashed and cut his anger away.

When he heard his doorbell being rung, and the intercom speak. "Young master, you are requested at the foyer."

Who else could be requested? Kanda thought, no one else is here.

He carried his unsheathed katana with him down the stairs, glaring at the maids that hurried to clean his trashed room.

Kanda slowly descended down the stairs. He looked up from his feet and saw Tyki.

"What do you want Mikk?"

The Portuguese man smirked coyly, "why, Kanda, you say that as if you're not happy to see me."

"I sure as hell am not." He shifted his weight on his other leg. "What do you want?"

He tapped the hilt of his blade with his fingers.

"What do I want?" He man slid his hand into his coat. "I want," he pulled it out slow, the silver barrel shining; "I want you to die."

In a flash, the gun was pointed at Kanda's head. The blade pressed right at Tyki's neck.

Alice struggled with the knots; she had managed the free one of her arms. She picked at the other in vain. She growled frantically. She had to get free, she had to save Kanda!

Tyki's dark side had taken over, he wouldn't mind killing someone. He wouldn't even feel a thing. Tyki's dark side was a scary thing, it was completely emotionless. It had only the intent of killing and torturing. She had encountered it once before, and it had almost killed her. She couldn't let Tyki do anything stupid.

She had to make sure both of them could be safe.

After struggling for a little bit, she laid back down, defeated. She chewed angrily at her lip and remembered the awful earrings that someone had given her as a gift once; they were as sharp as knives! The sun patterns rays cut her skin the only time she wore them, and never wore them after that. But her earring stand was on the other side of the room. She could move freely about, but her movement was very limited as her other arm was still tied to the bed.

The earring stand taunted her as she reached and reached for it.

Alice grumbled in frustration. The only thing she could do was move the bed. It was a king sized mahogany bed with a tree shaped canopy, it would be hard to move, but she could do it.

She pulled with all of her strength. The bed strained.

She pulled again, cursing the carpeted floor. It moved a little bit.

So it was, bit by bit that she moved the bed until she was close enough.

Her hair pressed to her face from the sweat and her arms hurt from all the rigorous pulling. She reached for an earring and quickly ran it back and forth against the rough polyester rope.

Snap

Snap

Snap.

When the fibers finally snapped free, she quickly ran out of the house. Please don't do anything stupid, Tyki. She begged in her mind as she hailed a taxi. She had been to Kanda's home before, she remembered.

"Mister, please, just follow my directions."

Kanda's hands sweated, the katana was cutting ever so slightly into Tyki's dark skin. He could feel the circular opening of the gun pressed onto his forehead. The two were frozen in a tie.

"Why did you stop?" Tyki questioned. "I could kill you right now."

"Why did you?" He pressed it harder into Tyki's neck. He felt the Portuguese tremble. "You're terrified."

"Ha, please. Don't belittle me." Kanda could see his finger itching to pull the trigger. Tyki slowly, slowly pulled the trigger down. So slow he could feel the resistance.

**Bang. **

"Mister, please can't you go faster?" She cried.

"Lady! It's blocked, ya blind?"

She threw some money at him, she was close enough anyways, she could run there. The cab yelled something at her about her change as she slammed the door shut and bolted through the traffic. The air was thick with moisture and heat as she pushed her way through the cars.

The forest gate was so close.

She remembered exactly.

The gate was open.

He was here already.

She pushed her legs to run faster to get to the house faster. There was light in the windows. The door was slightly ajar.

She heard it.

**Bang. **

Alice slammed the door open, there in front of her they were.

The blood stained the floor.

Stained the white and black tiles, they would be sticky soon.

The tiles will be crusty and sticky with the thick red blood of men.

She stared in shock and walked closer, red tendrils crawling up the hem of her dress. Her eyes were open as wide as they could. She couldn't believe what she saw.

This is a dream.

This is a dream.

This is a dream.

On the floor, the two men lay. Tyki's head mostly disconnected from his body. There was only just a thin piece of skin holding it together. His spine was visible and white and bones. His throat muscles and organs were still warm and pulsing. In his hand, was the colt revolver. Tyki's eyes were wide open.

Shock.

His face animated with anger. Frozen in the moment.

But he was dead.

"Alice."

Alice whipped her head around to face the voice. Her eyes had already welled up with tears. Laying there was the Kanda Yuu. She rushed to his side. "Oh my god, Kanda! Are you okay?" She fumbled to take her phone out and call an ambulance. He grabbed her hand.

"Stop! Are you stupid? Look the guy's dead." He winced. "My shoulder, just, drive there, I can walk, just help me up."

She wiped the tears from her face. "Okay, okay," She accidentally grabbed his bad arm, causing a loud pained groan from the other. "Sorry!" Kanda struggled to get up; the blood flowed freely from the wound in his shoulder. His nice white shirt blossomed with color.

The two of them stumbled out the door to Tyki's car; the keys were still in the ignition.

He had never planned to die.

Alice slowly let Kanda onto the passenger seat, making sure to avoid touching his wounded shoulder. "Relax, it'll be okay soon." She watched Kanda's eyes slide closed and quickly headed to the other side to jump into the driver's seat. Alice was never any good at driving, or directions, but Kanda's life depended on her right now. She had to get there and save him.

Her hands trembled as she shifted the gear into drive.

_Just wait Kanda, this time I'll be the one to save you._

"Socialite and CEO of the Millennium trading company have been found dead. His murderer has not yet been found." The television screen flashed a picture of Tyki. "He was killed by decapitation. A sword and a colt revolver were found at the scene. No other information has been gathered from the crime scene."

Alice turned the television off. "Did you hear that, Kanda? This stuff goes around like a wildfire." She eyed the man laying in the bed close by. "It's only been a day and it's already all over the news."

Kanda snorted. "Of course it is moyashi."

"Hey, Kanda,"

"What moyashi?"

"I'm glad you're safe."

He was silent for a minute. "I would never let myself die while you were still here." He finally said after a long pause.

Alice blushed. "What's with the cheesy ness baKanda?"

"You wouldn't survive a day without me to make sure you didn't do something stupid." He added.

"Hey!" Alice chucked a pillow at the wounded man, it hit him squarely in the face.  
"Hey yourself, don't hurt the handicapped." Kanda used his useable arm to move the pillow from his face.

"You're hardly handicapped." She puffed her cheeks angrily. She stood up and walked close to where Kanda laid. "But really, I'm glad you're okay."

"I know that."

Alice smiled, all of her teeth showing, she punched him softly in his uninjured shoulder. "You better."

_Months later._

"Hey Tyki, how's the after life?" Alice placed flowers on the marble tomb. "I hope everything is going well with you. Kanda and I got married not so long ago, and I'm pregnant."

"Moyashi quit telling that dead creep everything." Kanda stood off in the distance, frowning deeply.

"Don't speak ill of the dead!" Alice called to him, then turning back to the tomb she spoke again, "I'm going to give birth in June. I don't know what gender the baby will be yet, it's going to be a surprise. Either way it'll be a true gift from heaven for the both of us, Kanda and I." She paused to wipe her nose. "I-I'm sorry, and well. Goodbye."

Alice kissed the tombstone, the warm marble against her lips. She patted the stone fondly and turned to Kanda, who had come closer to the tombstone. "Okay, let's go." Kanda wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "So what now?"

"What do you mean what now moyashi? You want more shit to happen?"

"Everything seems so….done."

"So it is." Kanda brushed her hair through his fingers. "We've got the baby on the way, shit's gonna happen."

"Hey don't say that!"

They left the cemetery together.

Finally.

Done!

Well, I hope you enjoyed, blahblahblah thanks a lot for your support and reviews and everything!

~byrdie


End file.
